Thursday, August 4, 2016


Odd title, eh? 

Well, odd as it may seem, I feel like I am Wolverine. Wolverine can heal himself right away. There's almost nothing you can do that he cannot deal with. The irony though is that he's  super strong but beneath those tons of muscles is a heart that's still soft and beating and as human as it can be. I feel that I am like that too somehow. Prolly because I'm the type of person that you can hurt over and over again but will find ways to cope with it and after everything, will not stop caring. Like a masochist, after some beating, I may even end up caring a little more. It's like my heart has an auto-heal ability like Wolverine's but not as fast as his, of course. Actually, not fast at all. 

Thing is, I mask myself with the fascinating idea that I am strong... That no matter how f*cked up things may get, I can take it... That no matter how poorly I am treated, I will choose to be understanding... Maybe that's the reason why others think it's okay to hurt me, to not make me their priority, to make me wait, and worse, to just leave me on my own. It's like they know me well enough to feel assured that no matter what they do, no matter what happens, and no matter the circumstance is, I will be there for them. Because that's how strong I appear... Because that's how strong I pegged myself to be... I made them believe that I can take all the bullsh*ts they throw on my direction and hear me say, "it's okay." However, the painful truth is that every time someone makes me feel like sh*t, I break inside into million tiny pieces. I feel my bones get brittle and all my organs swell. I feel my tear ducts almost explode in pain from feeling so worthless. I feel every muscle inside of me melt slowly like a wax placed beside a flame. I feel my tendons snap like a rubberband altogether almost creating a sad melody that only I can hear.


And the sad thing is, nobody notices because nobody cares enough to really look at me. Nobody cares to read between the lines. My lines. Nobody cares enough to tell me that it's okay to be weak... That it's okay to break... That it's okay to just scream and cry. 

So now that I'm starting to get used to it, I will just do what I do best. To hell with the heartless, I will just continue being my own version of Wolverine.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Stupid. Stubborn. Strangers.

We have our whole lifetime to be strangers so why are we starting too soon? As rhetorical as this question can get, the truth in it is undeniable. 

Stupid humans, wanting things they can't and no longer have. Still wanting things even though it's clearly not (good) for them. Stubborn human race. But no matter how stupid and stubborn we all humans are, that's what make being human a little more interesting and less boring. 

I've reached my quote of non-sense. Sleep, I'm coming.