Wednesday, December 2, 2009

walking away.


So many things have been said about walking away and not looking back anymore. I don't know if I can do this or IF I ever want to do it. Life, oh life.

Maybe, life, at some point, will really test us. It will try to see how far we are willing to go; how much are we willing to risk; and how big the steps we are willing to make towards this one thing we've always wanted and hoped for. And now I'm in that position, I think. Constantly, I've been asking if going for what you want really have to entail walking away from something you didn't want to leave at all. What's more odd in my case, there really is no decision to make because this is not my call.

It's not like I can just walkaway from something I've worked so hard for. That is not an option. I have worked my *ss out for this one and I know in my heart it is about time that I get what I deserve. It's just that the fact that I have to leave something behind has somewhat extinguished that rewarding feeling that I'm finally just few steps away from the prize. Yes, I feel sad. I feel sad, excited, fulfilled all in one breath. Crazy!!

Well, it's not like I'm left with a choice. I will inevitably deal with this.
One week to go and I say, BRING IT ON, b*tch!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Definitely In Cloud 9 :)

I still can't believe that people actually loved my So Dope choreography. I honestly thought it was very amateur and that it will definitely show that it my first time. Well, I'm super duper happy that it went well. I got lots of good feedback and some helpful tips on how I can improve. It really inspired me to continue on trying. Perhaps, someday, if I work really hard, I'll be worthy of even just one collabo dance with two of the topnotch choreographers I have ever known - Erik and Louie! Yeah!

It still hasn't sunk in to me yet. At times, I'd like to think that I am just dreaming. I never thought I could pull something like this off. I was contented to just being in the background and dance whatever it is that was being taught to me. Thanks to Ja(ck)nina and Mai for pushing me and encouraging me to do it. Also, I am uber thankful to Erik for being so supportive and for encouraging me as well. Although sometimes I think he's just biased, his words really helped me A LOT! Of course, to God for giving me the patience, perseverance, and the creativity that I need to come up with the choreography. I am super happy!!

I was initially afraid that it might turn out as the greatest fiasco of all time for noobs who wants to try and be a choreographer. Fortunately, it turned out otherwise. It made my heart bloat to know that someone was actually inspired by my choreography. I am indeed in Cloud 9. I never thought I'd experience being commended for a dance that I can call MINE.

LIFE surprised me again. The only difference is, I'm loving it this time!

My choreography to So Dope by the New Boyz


Thursday, November 26, 2009

growing up. growing old.


I saw an old man today. I just watched him and listened to him as he rants about everything there is to rant about. His rants about the difference between the present generation and his were as if nonstop. From the looks of it, he's the only one enjoying the conversation. Then it occurred to me that someday, somehow, we're all gonna be like him. We'll all grow gray hairs and perhaps, will have a million more things to rant about. At some point we'll get stuck and won't be able to cope with the changes. I think it's a phase we all have to go through. We'll all stop growing up and begin growing old. We all have to accept that it is like death, it's inevitable.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

work it, crazy!

i am pasaway. i should be on my feet finishing my choreography for this sat's open training. but i am here, vegetating again in front of my pc. well, this won't take any longer. i just want to write first then i'll turn this distraction off.

although tiresome, i am enjoying every minute of my busy schedule. i met a lot of people and got to work with other business centers' personnel. it's just funny that my sched has been so crazy the past weeks. most days, i am at ortigas practicing for something or attending seminars. like next week, i won't be reporting at the office at all. ow-em-nyi.

also, i was pretty much exhausted at work today. fyi: i reported at our office. how's that. stayed til 7pm but still wasn't able to finish what i was supposed to finish. demmit! i won't be at the office tomorrow. i'll be back there on friday. funny thing, i'd like to think that i am missed at the office. perhaps, they do. they're just too shy to admit it. bwahaha! oh well, I MISS THEM TOO!


i discovered a new song to love. And by new i mean something new for me.
Oh I love it!




Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ay Em Bisi.

Kung anong bigkas, sya'ng baybay. Oha oha!

Ayun... Sangkaterbang trabaho at sangkaterbang activities nanaman ang naghihintay sa akin for this coming weeks. Umaygas! Sana pwede akong mag-astral project gaya ni Prew sa Charmed para pwede ako mag-seminar, mag-sayaw, at magtrabaho all at once. Oha! Kinabog lang si Darna ng bahagya!

Halong excitement, pagkahiya, at pagka-pressured ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Excitement kasi marami ako extra-curricular activities (work and non-work related) at dahil dun, marami ako nakikilalang mga tao. Pagkahiya kasi ung mga naiwan kong trabaho, ibang tao ang gumagawa. Pressured kasi first time ko magpaparticipate sa activity ng department namin pero mabigat na responsibility agad ung naibiagay sa akin.

Ohwell, I'm taking this as a challenge.
Gudlak na lang sakin.


Sunday, November 15, 2009

phase. er.

It was just a phase I had to go through to get to this point. It was a phase in my life where I had a deeper realization about commitment, friendship, trust, and everything that goes with it.

It was just a phase and I'm done with it.


I am now better...
stronger...
wiser...



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Back to work for tomorrow ONLY.

Yes, I'll be back for work tomorrow. Will finally get to wear my uniform again. Heehee. I'll be reporting tomorrow at the office then that's the last of it for this week. Though I am thinking of working on Saturday (morning) just so I can start dealing with my back logs. Boo! I am supposed to attend the Day 2 of the next batch's WIT seminar this Friday so I can get a certificate for finishing the WIT seminar series. But apparently, there's a conflict again with my sched. Grabe, mabenta lang. The management released a memo just this morning calling all the attention of the 2008-2009 CRS hirees for a whole-day seminar at the main office. Attendance is mandatory, I suppose, so that means Imma kiss my WIT certificate goodbye. OUCH. I just wish I can work it out with the WIT coordinator. Maybe they can give me a consideration. My schedule's not my call, after all. Saklap lang oh. I will only miss one day but see the effect it will have on me. Sisihin ang HRD!! Ohwell, I'll just keep my fingers crossed.

By the way, here are some of the pics taken at the seminar. It was by far the coolest seminar I had in Meralco. Kwela yung mga kasama namin. We just had fun. Puro kalokoahan, gaguhan, hiritan, at pictures lang ginawa namin. Yeah!




More pics on my facebook account.
I had a long fun fun fun day.
Rest, I'm coming.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

oh happy day ♥

I had a stress-proof day today. I am smiling.



All my bags are packed. I'm ready to go.
Another seminar but I am smiling.
MORE ENERGY MAS HAPPY!!




Sunday, November 8, 2009

again and again, and again...

Everytime I feel sad, I just watch this video because somehow, even for just a few minutes, I can laugh. And guess what, I am watching this again.. and again, and again, and again.

*At the end of the day, all we need is to be NEEDED.

Click on the link: Vice Ganda at Punchline | 06.06.09




Thursday, November 5, 2009

SEMINARista.

So I've been attending a series of seminars. I made a lot of new friends; that was the fun part. But I also met people who are so competitive. You know, the kind who really knows what they're doing. People who knows a lot more than you do. Made me question if I'm on the right field. Hehe.

Ohwell, that's life. People always want the limelight. They always do.



Sunday, October 18, 2009

dot-dot-dot LIFE.

I went home around 2am last night. Despite the pagod, I still had a hard time catching sleep. So nakahiga lang ako the whole time until antukin at makatulog. And out of the blue, bigla ko lang naisip "ako". Oo, ako.. as in ako. Yung buhay ko, Mga ginagawa, nagawa, at gagawin ko.. Ang dami ko naisip. Ang dami ko narealize.. as in maraming marami.

Let me share some.

I have done a lot of bad things. Ang dami kong kelangan ipaghingi ng sorry sa maraming tao like Erik, my dad, my brother, and the list goes on. There were a lot of times that I've been too weak. I know what's right but ended up doing otherwise. Being human isn't and shouldn't be an excuse for the things that I did. I made a lot of mistakes and I am owning up to all of it. I have to change some of my ways, I know. but it's really always easier said than done. Then I remembered, no one can change overnight. It doesn't work that way. Changing, ideally, has to be gradual. Ika nga, slowly but surely.

It's sad to realize that I have tons of things to apologize for to a lot of people. But it's even sadder to realize that I still haven't forgiven myself for all the things I've put myself into, and for the bad decisions I made in the past and is still making. Paano nga ba patawarin ang sarili? At pano ba malaman na karapat-dapat nga patawarin ang sarili mo? Bakit walang ganitong lesson sa mga textbooks? Bakit hindi ito kasama sa curriculum ng university na pinanggalingan ko? Bakit ang hirap ng buhay.

I'm living life one day at a time. Would you imagine, I'm already 23 pero hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong malinaw na goals. Oo, meron akong mga gustong mangyari sa buhay ko. Gusto ko maging successful. Gusto ko magka-family. Gusto ko magka-business. Yun ang problem, puro na lang "gusto" pero walang malinaw na plano. Oo, may trabaho ako pero ang totoo, wala pa rin direction talaga ang life ko. Last night was really a rude awakening. God, help me.


Life is so hard. I'm afraid I can't keep up.
I need more drive. More inspiration. More motivation.
Baby, come home.



Monday, October 5, 2009

Ow-em-nyi.

Okay. I really had no plans of writing tonight but Friendster provoked me to do so. Haha! Here's why: I opened my Friendster account and decided that it's about time to change my shout out. Then I noticed its similarities with when you post statuses in Facebook. As in people can also comment on your Friendster status. Sounds family buh?! Akala ko Multiply lang ang nayanig ng FB, pati pala Friendster. Ohwell, masisisi ba natin ang Multiply and Friendster? Accounts there started to nest cobwebs already. Tsktsk.

I want my bed.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ondoy and it's aftermath.

September 26 was traumatic. Muntik na tayo salantain ni Ondoy ng bonggang bongga. Lots of people lost a lot... their business, their homes, and even their loved ones. I have a friend here at Marilao, Bulacan who lost all their businesses. Their eatery was brutally soaked in flood. Their machine business is now a 'crude-less' disaster and their feeds are impossible to be salvaged. Where do they start? How do they pick up from here? How do we deal with Ondoy's aftermath?

Nung kasagsagan ng bagyo, I thought I was so unlucky because I was home alone. My dad was stuck at the airport because he just came back from Bacolod. My mom was stranded from 1pm til early morning because Mac Arthur Highway was no longer passable. I have no food, no water, and power's out. Kaya rin shempre, I was clueless about everything that was happening in our village. Hindi ako makapanood ng news. Akala ko simpleng baha-baha lang kasi nagbabaha naman talaga sa Mac Arthur e. Nalaman ko lang na grabe pala when a friend texted me that night to check up on me because he knew I was alone. He sounded so worried so I told him to relax. Sabi ko pa nga wag shang OA e. Sabi nya seven baranggays na raw ang inevacuate at nasaan daw ako. Grabe. Hindi ako makapaniwala kaya dahil hindi ko naman ramdam sa house na ganun pala katindi so I tried to go out to check it out myself. Guess what? Ni hindi na ako umabot sa labas ng gate namin. Yung baha paakyat na sa garahe namin. A neighbor who saw me said, "O nandyan ka pala. Akala ko walang tao dyan." Sabi ko, "Ay hindi po kasi ako lumalabas. Ano pong nangyayari, bakit baha dito sa street natin?" Then he said, "Buti nga dito sa atin ganito lang. Dun sa first street kasing taas na ng street post. Sa crossing parang dagat na. Kung ako sayo i-angat mo na mga gamit nyo. Tapos pumunta ka na sa lola mo." Okay... thanks to him. Muntik na akong mag-panic ng bonggang bongga. So I went back inside the house. Tinaas ko ung mga appliances na kaya kong itaas hanggang sa wala na ako mapagpatungan. Bahala na. I decided to stay at home para at least mabantayan ko ung bahay. Kung pasukin man ng baha, at least makakakilos ako and maitataas ko ung mga iba pang kaya ko. Good thing, hanggang garahe lang ung tubig. I slept around 3:30am. Wala na kasing ulan nung time na un kaya sa tingin ko safe na matulog.

I woke up at around 7am. I checked the house, wala naman baha. The flood already subsided and all that's left in our street was mud. I walked around the village and it was a very unpleasant view. May mga gamit sa daan.. clothes, toys, pillows, at kung anu-ano pang mga inanod ng baha. They were all covered with mud. May dead animals din. It was heartbreaking. I went to my relatives' houses to see how they are. Buti they were all safe. Binaha rin but they were safe. Thank God.

God let this happen and I know there's a reason for that. Whatever that reason is, we will know in time. And kahit paano, may positive naman na naidulot. We have learned to love each other even more, kahit yung mga taong hindi natin kilala. We care for everybody. We are all willing to help. Filipinos were united and that's a great start.

God is good.
Filipinos, payt payt payt!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

SHAPELESS.




...and I'm super, duper, mega, as in uber to the nth level RELIEVED.
Where's my bed?
ZzzzZzzz...






Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Non-sensical. IKR

I'm trying to recall everything that happened today to try to see if there's anything worth blogging about. And nges huwaaaaat.. WALA. :D So I guess, you are stuck with my rants about how stressful this day was.

I arrived at the office around 7:45 and was pissed off to see na meron na agad trabaho na nagihintay sa desk ko. Ow-em-nyi! Akala ko pa man din makakapaglaro ako ng games sa pc ko, haha! Imagine, from 7:45 am to almost 6 pm, the only rest i had was my 15-minute break in the morning, lunchbreak, and the times I acted like I needed to go to the restroom. Oha oha! It was indeed a long day.

It rained again. Oh please rain all week except on Saturday, PLEASE.. PLEASE.. *hopeful

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Chopsuey. The concept, not the gulay. =D

I dated my mom. We watched KimmyDora. It was my second time to watch the movie. I still laughed on some parts, especially sa mga paborito ko like ung "Pwede ka nang magulat" part and ung "Peter Piper" chuva at the end. Basta natawa pa rin ako. Yun yown. :D

Ow-em-nyi. As in umayngas talaga. Now, I'm nervous. Parang bigla hinaunt nanaman ako ng ilang "really-bad-and-heartbreaking" memories na naka-imbak sa isip ko. Akala ko keber na lang ako pero kanina bigla nanaman ako nakaramdam ng kaba. Ohwell, I guess I just have to see what will happen next. :s Darn it, Facebook!

Tomorrow. I don't want to get too excited BUT hey, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I am smiling. Really smiling.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Such a good day =)

Another ME-day for me.. YAHHHHHHOOOOOOO!! Salamat naman at napapadalas na ang pahinga ko. I'm super loving this!! :) I'm excited for today coz Imma see Musiqality. I missed them.. lalo na ung mga hindi namin kasama sa Telus gig last time. We'll be attending the Skechers kickoff party at MOA later. So that's one reason to be super excited for the day.

Also, as a part of my ME-day, I'll be heading off to a salon to get my nails done and to have a haircut narin siguro (?).. I'm still undecided. Basta, this is going to be a good day!! Woooh!

About yesterday, it was very stressful. Stress from work and some selfish and insensitive people. Gaaaaaaad.. why do people like them exist, why oh why?!
"Lahat ng sobra, at some point nakakasama."


PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEBE ABBY!! Love you!! ♥

Sunday, August 30, 2009

phlogging =D

There's always a first time for everything, diba. Wala lang. This is my first ever phlog - phone blog. Share lang.

I am so ngarag today and most prolly will be more ngarag tomorrow. We're finalizing everything for my lola's birthday party tomorrow. As in I have no time for rest naaaaa.. Boo! I'm not even sure if I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. I still have to edit an avp about how we planned the party.. the practices for the special numbers, and everything.

Oh well.. Wish me luck. I'm sooooo tired already. =(

Saturday, August 22, 2009

zombie me.

I have so little time for rest.. so little time for sleep.. so little time for myself. But you know what's worse? It's when things come up suddenly which makes my 'so little time' become TOO LITTLE TIME.

I am exhausted.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

NGES HUS BAK!!

I'm back! Hoooray!!! Gaaaad I missed this. I was so busy lately. Imagine, as per Friendster my last log in was about three weeks ago. Haha. And my oh my... Wordpress changed. I was surprised to see all my widgets from the old theme [I used] appear in my page. And.. and.. and! you can now actually crosspost your Multiply notes on your Facebook account.. Oh men! Ganun katagal ba ako nawala talaga??

Anyway, Im here at Bianca's. They have this cool weighing scale, so chic! So I tried it.. Nalungkot na lang ako kasi mas bumigat pa ako ngayon. Boohoo! I need to start taking my diet seriously. Discipline... where art thou? I'm not sure if it's going to be effective but I'll try to eat tuna for dinner. As in tuna lang. I got the idea from a friend and it looked effective on her.. Sana ganun din sa akin. =D Ohwell, wish me luck.

Yeah.. yeah.. There's not much enthusiasm in this entry.
But hey! I'm baaaaaaaack!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Message Sent.

I thought it was just a coincidence but since it happened again,
I think I get it. But why? I don't understand.
What did I do? Is everything okay? Are you mad?
Hmmm..

Bothered*

Monday, June 22, 2009

Friend [?]

WARNING: Forgive me. Don't expect anything rational from this entry.

I don't know how to begin writing about how disappointed and upset I am right now. I don't have a problem with change, really. I don't even find it that hard to adapt to change... except now. See, I KNOW this someone who "used to be" so dear to me. We "used to be" so close. We were such good pals until something happened a year ago. Since then everything changed. Everything was so sudden and I had trouble accepting the fact that everything's different already. The warmth of the friendship turned into coldness. The closeness transformed into a gap; a gap we or should I say, "I" wasn't able to bridge... alone.

I already lost you, one year ago.


I tried to save what's left with the friendship. I thought I can do it alone. I thought my efforts will be enough and so I gave it my best shot. It still didn't work out. Now, I'm finally able to admit to myself that there really was nothing to save because it cannot be saved anymore. Everything just turned too ugly. I don't even know why it took me this long to finally accept this.

This is just so tiring. If you cannot value me the way you did before, or if you can't even act as a friend, then what's the point in trying? I am so tired of reaching out to you. I am just so tired. And so, with this entry, I am saying goodbye to you, to the friendship we had, and to everything about you and me. You are now part of the past. Yes... past. And I'm never looking back.

I rest my case.
GOODNIGHT.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Another strategic plan =]

I'm trying something new. Since my schedule's really full and I really feel that I have so little time left for my personal stuff, I decided to list down everything I want to do and to accomplish. It all include work-related, dance-related, and me-time activities. Laugh all you want if you find this ridiculous but I made a schedule of every activity in my list. I'm just hoping that with that schedule that looked more like a gantt chart to me, I will be able to balance everything and have a quality me-time. Hehe.

Another strategic plan and I hope this time, it will work. :D

I met Lady President

I met Lady President the day I started caring about stockings. Yes, I finally got my uniforms. After six months from when La Marina got our measurements! Ang tagal men. Good thing the uniforms fitted me well.




The long wait was finally over. And good thing my mom has lots of stockings. Bad thing, I didn't like the color that much so I had to buy new ones. Then, I met Lady President. :D

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Lousy comeback and I don't even care ;)

Though I know it's lousy to start filling this space up again by posting some non-sensical survey, I'm still going to do it. I just have to chillax a little before finally writing about how crazy the past weeks were for me. And if by any chance you feel bored too, don't be shy to repost this in your site. Grab away, folks.

By the way, I got this from Abby in Facebook.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


ABC About You Questions:


A - AVAILABLE: Yes. But if you need money, I'm not. :P

B - BIRTHDAY: Marsobente

C - CRUSH : is so elementary

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My mom

F - FAVORITE SONG: Songs by Lil Eddie

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Not a fan of anything Gummy, saaaaarrrreeeeee ;)

H - HOMETOWN: Bulacan

I - IN LOVE WITH: Life and lalalalove ♥ and of course, him.

J - JUGGLE: I wanted to learn this when I was a child then I got frustrated and I can't remember what happened next. =P

K - KILLED SOMEONE: In my mind, Hell Yeaaaaah! :P

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Our trip to Baguio. It was via a bus, though.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Any

N - NUMBER OF SIBLING/S: Only one

O - ONE WISH: That all my wishes will eventually come true :P Lol.

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: ♥

R- REASON TO SMILE: Musiqality, Life, and love ♥

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 7am

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: Just plain red

V - VEGETABLE(S): Not a fan :P

W - WORST HABIT: Stalking and eavesdropping, Bwahahaha!!

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Chest

Y - YOYOS ARE: not for me though I like them. Boohoo!

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces


Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: RNZNN FRTLZ

What color do you wear most?: Purple

Least favorite color? Pink

What are you listening to? Air Supply by Lil Eddie

Are you happy with your life right now? YES

What is your favorite class in school? Algebra and Interpersonal Comm, woooh!

When do you start back at school/college? Done with that but sill wants to go back someday for masterals

Are you outgoing? Yes

Favorite pair of shoes? Any power shoes (astig shoes for dancing)

Where do you wish you were right now? Beside him


THE CANS:

Can you dance? Yes

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? Haven' tried that

Can you whistle? A little

Write with both hands? I can but the other's quite unreadable. Haha!

Walk with your toes curled? I tried it just now and the answer's Yes.


THE DO'S:

Do you believe there is life on other planets? Not sure

Do you believe in miracles? YES!

Do you believe in magic? NO but Kuya Rocky's are very tempting

Love at first sight? NO

Do you believe in Satan? I believe that he exists

Do you believe in Santa? Not anymore

Do you know how to swim? Yes

Do you like roller coasters? Yeyeyeyeeeeesss!

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows? Just don't make me eat roaches!


THE HAVES:

Have you ever been on a plane? Yes

Have you ever asked someone out? Yes

Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yes

Have you ever been to the ocean? Yes

Have you ever painted your nails? Yes


THE WHATS:

What is the temperature outside? Im not sure

What was the last restaurant/fastfood you ate at? Gerry's

What was the last thing you bought? Stockings

What was the last thing on TV you watched? News


THE WHOS:

Who was the last person you IM'd? Z

Who was the last person you took a picture of? Lloyd

Who was the last person you said I love you? Abby Luz


HAPPY SECTION:

Are you a happy person? Usually

What can make you happy? Love, Dance, and ...

Do you wish you were happier? Yes

Can music make you happy? Definitely!


LOOK AT ME:

What is your current hair color? Black with a touch of brown

Current piercings? The usual

Have any tattoos? No

Eye color? Brown


IN A BOY:

Favorite eye color: Brown

Short or long hair: As long as he looks neat, I'm fine with it

Height: Basta taller than me

Best clothing: Boy next door type


HAVE YOU EVER:

Been to jail: Yes but not behind the bars

Mooned someone: NO

Ran away from home: Planned to but have no money at the time, wahaha!

Laughed so hard you cried: Yeah

Cried in school: Yes

Thrown up in a store: Nope


THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Neither

McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's

Single or Group Dates: Both

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla

Strawberries or Blueberries: Neither

Meat or Veggies: Meat

Chinese or Mexican: Chinese

Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Cornflakes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS. Sheeesh, ang haba pala nyan.
Decent post coming right up ;)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Pisces Horoscope for May 2009.

I'd have to agree with this. This coincidentally applies to me and to everything that I'm going through right now. Parang coke lang... SAKTO!

Source: http://www.luckylegendary.com/Horoscopes.aspx

"Now is a time for self analysis. Look at your past and the patterns you have displayed in the past. What has worked for you and what hasn't. How do you get rid of the things that don't work and how to use the things that do. After your self analysis repair what needs to be repaired and MOVE ON WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. You've entered your phase of Enlightenment. "



I've highlighted those parts which I think really applies to me right now. It's funny that it's super appropriate. How the hell was that possible? :D

It's "Waste-your-time-with-Astrology-Day" Today =P

Out of boredom, I decided to google some stuff about my zodiac sign, love compatibility, business, and etc. And of course, me being a Pisces and Erik being a Gemini, I checked out our compatibility and according to some random webpages, a relationship between a Pisces and a Gemini is not a match made in heaven. Duh!

Here's what it said:

In the Gemini with Pisces combination you have four people, or personalities, present to interact with each other since both of these signs are dual, or double sided. One side of Pisces is positive, loaded with ideas one minute, while the other side is mystic, secretive, and illogical at the next; Gemini is also moody and changeable. Gemini may fall in love with only one side of Pisces as the perception and intuition are a drawing card and this facet of the personality makes Pisces able to understand Geminis every desire.

The other side of the Pisces personality could come as a shock to Gemini as it is nothing that he/she may have been prepared for. Gemini will want to know the reason behind everything that Pisces will do and Pisces on the other hand will withdraw into his/her own self to work out the problems and make a decision on what he/she wants without ever giving a reason. Either Gemini learns to accept, and live with, this facet of the personality or it will cause a lot of friction. Gemini often needs to exercise his/her mental abilities with the opposite sex, and this will cause the Piscean jealousy to escalate in intensity; something Gemini cannot abide.

Sexually, this would be a great match for a short wild relationship but would be awful shaky in the long run. Although Pisces can provide the greatest mental stimulation for arousal this will only lead to trying to resolve their differences in the bedroom until they come to realize that they must both face the world in order to survive.


Hahaha. See? However, according to this site, http://www.horoscopes-love.eu/gemini-and-pisces-love-match-compatibility.html, Pisces can break the chains of fate and destiny. So what if some random webpage says Erik and I are not going to be good together... We already have five (5) years of our life to prove otherwise. AND if ever this happens to be true, well, I am a Piscean, I WILL BREAK THE CHAINS OF FATE AND DESTINY. Oha oha!


PS. I resent the fact that Gemini-Leo is a match made in heaven. HMPH!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Hey, Hey Palaboy!

Blind item: Sino itong girlalu na may seminar sa Ortigas today from 8am to 5pm? But unexpectedly, ang seminar na supposedly matatapos ng 5pm ay natapos ng 2:30pm. Since may lakad sha later (7:30pm), hindi sha makauwi. Hindi malaman kung saan tatambay at kung anong gagawin sa libreng limang oras kaya nag-internet na lang sa pinakamalapit na mall. :D Buti na lang off ng kanyang boypren kaya pwede silang magkausap via Chat. Akalain mo, blessing in da sky pa pala ang pagiging palaboy nya. God is still good. Ayos!

Clue: Hindi ako yun =P

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Too painful to write about.

Why is it that when you are with the utmost need to write about everything you feel, about every detail of your pain, or how ugly you suddenly feel inside, or confused you feel... that's also the time when you are out of words and energy to do it?

This sucks.


PS. I thought I was already over it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A good sample of what I can come up when I want to write but can't think of anything decent to write about.

I love. I miss. I hug. I kiss. I sin. I fall. I fight. I frown. I lose. I cry.
I do all these because I want to... and because I love to...

I am unstable.
I am a fool.
I always fall short.
A lot of times I've though of myself as a failure.
I do improper things that I don't resent or even regret.
Perhaps, I have already done more mistakes now than a person can make in a lifetime.

This who I am.
This is who I was.
And this is who I will be.
Without regrets or anything of the sort...
At least I can proudly say, at the end of my story, I have lived an interesting life.

I am a retard.
And I love being one.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

an insecurity attack

Is it weird that from time to time, I need people or things to remind me that I am good enough? Or that I am actually good at something? Is that alright? Constantly needing a validation about some things?

For the nth time, I feel insecure.
And I hate it every time this happens.
I HATE IT!

Monday, April 27, 2009

my books said they miss me already.

Alright, I admit that I have been spending almost all of my free time vegetating in front of the computer. Thus, I no longer have the time to do the things that I usually love to do, like reading. When was the last time I bought a book or even a magazine? I can't even remember when was the last time I actually spent enough time to read a newspaper from cover to cover. I really can't remember. i guess, that's how long it was. It's so not me. I can almost qualify in being called a bookworm because I used to love reading so much. I used to have sleepless nights because I can't put my books down. That's how addicted I was to reading. But some things really do change I guess. I changed.

I know it sounds stupid but I feel guilty everytime I look at my books. It's as if, "Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila." If they can talk, they would probably say they have been feeling ultimately jealous of my computer. Haha. That's why, I want to try to revert to my old ways - spending more time with my books and less time with my computer.

Kaya ko kaya?
Separation anxiety, please don't get in my way.

Dreams.

What's with today? Is today "weird dreams" day?

For some unknown reason, I woke up an hour earlier than my alarm clock. As in, I went off the bed and opened the door, walked out of my room and called for my mom. I just kept saying, "Ma? Mama? Ma?" in a searching tone.

I really have no idea why I did that. It was the first thing that popped in my mind and I don't know why. I am not like that. I mean, I don't just do such things unless I feel scared or worried. That's why I find it so weird. I am neither worried nor scared. It left me feeling uber weird and uncomfy the rest of the morning.

Perhaps it really wasn't supposed to mean anything.
But I feel like it meant something.

Or maybe I miss my mom.
We haven't been able to talk like before the past few weeks.

On a less weirder note, Erik and I had the same dream TODAY. We both had a dream that he was already home and that we went to the beach. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, having the same dream and being together in THAT dream but I really do think it means something. It's actually sweet and I felt really good. Maybe we just miss each other so much. Mushy as it may sound but perhaps, our love has found a way for us to spend the summer together. Sounds impossible but who knows I might actually be right, right?

Maybe, these dreams are my unique, subconscious way of coping with the changes that has occurred recently in my life - Erik leaving for Saudi and Mom getting busy with the family business. They are the two people that I hold closest in my heart and I miss them...

EVERYDAY.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

another ME-day = )

Spent the whole day at home. Woke up at early noon and ate lunch alone. After lunch, I took a bath then started my so-called ME-time. I ate a lot. I watched two movies. I was practically like a bum. I feel so relaxed.

I watched two movies, 27 Dresses and the American version of My Sassy Girl. It both told a fun and great love story but it left me depressed. It both had a happy ending but I was in tears all along, even in those parts where the couple's having the time of their lives just before the part where the conflict's gonna happen. I was crying real tears. I was in tears in most parts of the movie because it reminded me of how Erik and I was before he left for KSA. The movies just made me miss him even more.

And because the movies made me cry, I think I am entitled to my own revenge. haha! Here are some comments. No offense meant to those who thought otherwise.

27 Dresses has a great story but the casting's not that good. Katherine Heigl's way too pretty for James Marsden. Thank God they were both good. So I guess it's safe to say that their talents made up for the fact that they did not look really good together in the movie. But of course, that's not the reason why I cried over this. =P


On the other hand, My Sassy Girl (American version) has a good story too. And oh I loved the part where the old man told Elisha Cuthbert what Destiny means. "Destiny is the bridge you make to the one you love." Just perfect. I just wasn't exactly blown away by how the movie was, especially the parts where Jesse Bradford's reading the stories Elisha wrote. It was only because of the story that I got carried away towards the end.


On a less non-sensical note, it was a great decision to just stay at home because of the rain. And it's so nice to spend time alone, as always. However, my day may seem long but still felt bitin! I want more ME-time. More. More. More.

Here I go again, always asking for more. :D

LSS: Pandora's Box

A friend introduced me this song. It's a great song just don't include its message. It's a sad song. With how the singer sang it and the melody, even if you are not or have not been in that kind of situation, you'll feel it. You'll experience the emo-ness of the song. There's just too much emotion in its lyrics and melody. It made me wonder what kind of experience did the song writer have to be able to come up with this.


Pandoras Box - Lil Eddie

It was a wrap.

Yesterday was a tiring yet super fun day. The shoot was a wrap and we all looked hot and fierce! Wooooh! We were all just laughing and taking pictures! There were, literally, flashes everywhere. We were like an "artista" for a day. Haha!

We all had to do a freestyle. Well, I'm not sure exactly how I did but I'll bet I looked stupid. So what? It was still fun. I had fun. It was like we were just bonding and not doing something serious like our portfolio, perhaps. :D

Yesterday was by far, the coolest day i've had with the girls.

WE ARE THE MUSIQALITY.
http://musiqality.multiply.com

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Unprepared.

So today is 'the' day. We will push through with our photo/video shoot as planned.
I slept at 3:30am just thinking of what to wear. I need two sets of costumes,
one's hiphop and the other one should tell something about our occupation.
I'm confident about my hiphop attire. Just don't ask me about the other one.
Kung pwede lang magdala ng kuntador e! Haha!

Where are the creative juices when you actually need them?
SABAW.

PS. I dreamt I was back to school and that my team leader and her assistant are the professors!
Hmmm.. it got me thinking. What if... :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

One hell of a post-script, watch out. CRANK!

It's funny how I still need to re-visit my older entries just to be reminded that there are other things in my life that are more deserving of my time than to use it in thinking about the past. The past is something that cannot be undone. It's something that we cannot take back. But it's something that we can correct once we've learned our lesson, watchutink? See, I'm still not sure if I already learned mine but if faced with a similar situation, I think I'll be handling things way better than before. So is that a yes? I hope so.

On a lighter note, I am beginning to hate this. Been spending too much time at my brother's room because I'm using his computer. I'm beginning to think I made a mistake of sacrificing my computer in exchange of some extra space in my room. Fyi, the room's already done! Maybe I should really stick to my other plan - the "gastos-nanaman-plan". Maybe I really should grab that netbook I saw in the mall a few days ago. But I already fixed my budget and pronounced it as THE budget already just few days before I saw the netbook, darn it. Alms... alms... alms... anyone?

PS. John Statham is soooo hot! Tsss!

Rainy Days of Summer.

I'm surprisingly loving it. Siguro kasi wala akong lakad na naapektuhan ng ulan. Wala akong plans na naaabala dahil sa drastic change ng weather. Loser lang. Buti na lang may company outing, at least may 2 sure na outing na ako this summer, haha. Also, I'm loving it dahil konti ang customers sa office. Haha. Oh and because I can now use my cutesy comforter! Oha!

Bakit nga ba biglang naging maulan?
May bagyo ba? :)

It hurts. Yes, it still does.

My friend once wrote an entry on her page about her past, regrets, and bitterness. I remember commenting in her entry because I loved the last line. She wrote, "I am forgiven." It's a huge thing to do... Forgiving yourself for all the things that you wish didn't happen, for all the things you wish you didn't do, for all the things you wish you did but didn't, for all the things that happened that you wish you could take back but cannot. I wish I can say that line too. I wish I can write that here too.

Everytime I look back, there's still that definite pain in remembering everything. As much as I wanna let go of it, I cannot.

How are we supposed to forgive ourselves?
Teach me.

writer's block. for the nth time.

I usually experience that when I feel "that" urge to write about stuff. It's not the typical writer's block, you know. I just can't decide which idea will come first. So I always end up writing something like this... an insignificant explanation of why I am not writing anything when there's so many things to write about.

I always pick up from this. This has always been effective.
Let's see.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"Pagod" is an understatement.

Training resumed today. Ja decided to take everything on a higher level... for almost an hour, all we did was stretching and conditioning. We were already very warmed up by the time Kuya Rocky arrived. At first I thought it was just one of his random visits but it turned out he was going to teach us a "Bobby-Newberry-Like-Choreo" pala for the shoot. I looked ridiculous, btw & fyi. Jusko, mas seksi pa gumalaw si Kuya Rocky kesa sakin. Anyway, it was just a couple of 8's but I really felt exhausted. Prolly coz this is something new to me... the conditioning, stretching, and the choreography. Yikes! I really have to practice, plus Kuya Rocky also gave us an assignment. Wooh, wish me luck coz i badly need it.

PS. I almost starved myself to death at work today.
Screw the internet connection at K.S.A. Boo!

Monday, April 13, 2009

moving according to plan =)

I planned on cutting my nails last week and yesterday, I did it. It is now back to its 'pudpod' look. Idk. I missed it. Its been like over a year since the last time I've had it short. And I feel like I want something new. Well, it's not new-new reallybut it gave me the similar feeling so I just settled on that.

Also, I had my hair trimmed yesterday but it's weird coz I think it looked longer instead. haha. Nevertheless, I'm happy coz I was finally able to spend my day as planned. Now that's another one. Cheers!

It was more of a miracle that I woke up feeling not too lazy to go somewhere kinda far like Trinoma. It's just 40 to 45 minutes away though (thanks to NLEX). Usually, I plan on going out to spend some ME-time at some place like Trinoma, Shang, or GB but because of laziness, will end up at some place 15 minutes away from home like SM. So yesterday was outstanding just because of that.

My day went as planned. I was able to cross out lots of things from my "to buy" list. So the 92% has now become 97%. Weeee! The last piece that will turn my room makeover to a room madeover is the dresser. I thought of buying it at OurHome but gaaaaad, it's too expensive. Plus, I didn't find anything close enough to how I want my dresser to be. I want something not spacious, without a mirror, and functional in terms of the drawers and storage. Since I've gone tired of storehopping and mall hopping in search for the perfect dresser, I decided to just draw the design and find someone who can create magic and turn the drawing into something really tangible. It'll be less expensive and best of all, it's customized. I just have to wait until the weekend for the construction. I didn't really want to wait anymore but hey, patience is a virtue.

The carpenter better be good; otherwise, I'll be doomed! :p

Chumichill lang.

1. Do you think you can get through this without answering "I don't know"?
-- Lemme try that.

2. Are you involved with anyone?
-- Super much!

3. Where do you wish you were right now?
-- Saudi. Cooking dinner for Erik ♥

4. What should you be doing right now?
-- Planning.

5. Does sex means love?
-- It does for some. Including me! =)

6. What do you believe is a true saying about life?
-- You'll never get out of it alive.

7. Are you a bad influence?
-- I think so, minsan. Hahaha. Oh c'mon... we all are, at some point.

8. Who has had the most influence on you (good)?
-- My part-time mongoloid, full-time lovable boyfriend and My retarded friends.

9. night out or night in?
-- I'm more of the "night in" type but to be a "night out" type sometimes is fun also!

10. single forever with a great family or no family and your soul mate?
-- I'd initially choose the single forever life but eventually, will be tired of resisting the latter. =D

11. what is your favorite game?
-- Life. And I see to it that I always play right. Kiddin'! Sa Monopoly lang at UNO masaya na ako.

12. Your favorite book?
-- I cried over Message In A Bottle!

13. do you know how to change a tire?
-- Yes, I do but I'm too tired for those kind of stuff. hihi.

14. What item could you not go without during the day?
-- My phone and my player.

15. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
-- No!

16. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
-- Hmmm.. si Gene ata.

18. Have you ever lied about something important to your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
-- Yeah. Hehe.

19. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
-- I don't treat love as a game. So I'd go for someone who's a keeper.

20. When was the last time you hugged someone?
-- Feb 14. I hugged lotsa people in Elbi.

21. Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
-- I'm not a fan of tongue piercing. I want someone neat!

22. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
-- No I haven't but I'm thinking about it. Haha.

23. Do you ever think about any of your ex's?
-- I'm too busy for that kind of thoughts.

25. Need to get something off your chest? Are you going to?
-- In God's time. =)

26. How do you feel about your life right now?
-- Depends on what aspect we're talking about here. =D

27. have you been pulled over by the police?
-- Not yet.

28. What kind of car do you drive?
-- Ang akala kong kasunod ng primera ay sekundarya. Now, do I sound like I drive? =D

29. What characteristic do you despise the most?
-- Hypocrisy.

30. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
-- Yeah! And oh I hated the hangover.

31. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
-- Hahaha, yeah! The story was crazy but it was one hella experience.

32. How's the relationship between you and your ex?
-- Which ex? I am still friends with the most recent one. I have no contact with the one before that and etc. Haha.

33. Do you talk dirty to people?
-- No.

34. Do you think you can make it on a "Moment of Truth"?
-- Yeah, I think so.

35. Anyone upsets you lately?
-- Nah.

36. Last person you talked to on the phone?
-- Gene.

37. Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
-- Yes. It will show.

38. Do you think your dumb?
-- Sometimes.=D

40. What could be done to make things better for you?
-- Lose weight and some more Me-time!

41. Do you love someone at the moment?
-- Yes. Super much!

42. How's your heart?
-- Happy.

43. Ever kissed someone with a name starting with a C?
-- Not yet.

44. When was the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
-- Haha, samin na lang un.

46. Are you happy with your living arrangement?
-- No. I miss him so bad.

47. Do you have trust issues?
-- No. Not anymore.

48. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
-- I forgive but I never forget. I am like that.

Feeling Nothing About Something

So today, everything was back to normal. I went back to work and my ME-time is already over. I don't know if this is normal but I don't feel happy nor excited. I feel nothing. I don't feel sad about going to work too. Weird. All I know is that I'm going to miss doing nothing. I wish there was more ME-time.

And oh by the way, Monday at work was not bad after all.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

92%

Hephep? Hurray!!

Malapit na! Lapit na matapos ang aking room makeover - my post birthday gift to myself. :D Chyeah! I just have to buy a few more stuff then it's all set. Kung magagawa ko lahat ng plano ko for tomorrow, tomorrow night ay pwede na ako matulog sa room ko. Gusto ko kasi pag matulog ako dun, tapos na ung maekover. Made over na at hindi na makeover :D

Wish me luck!
Happy!

MMK: "Chalkdust" =P

Naalala ko lang bigla ang isang kahindik-hindik na pangyayari na naganap nung bata pa ako. Tandang tanda ko pa nun, 8 years olad ako, naglalaro kami ng pinsan ko ng dart. Shempre dahil bata batuta pa ako nun, sha ung nagdadart at ako naman ung taga-kuha ng dart. Akala ko ganun talaga konsepto ng larong un.. 2 players tapos yung isa ang titira at yung isa ang taga-kuha. Hehe. Sa isip-isip ko pa nun, ang cool ko naman kako kasi nakakalaro na ako ng mga ganung laro sa murang edad kong un. Yun naman pala, inuuto lang ako ng damuho kong pinsan. Bleh! So much for the intro.

So yun nga, ako ang taga-kuha. Tumutuntong ako sa isang upuan para maabot ung mga arrow. Hanggang sa may nangyaring hindi ko inaasahan. Nabitawan ko ung mga panira at ung isa, nalaglag sa paa ko. A view from the top... ehem, ehem... Ang dart piece o arrow o kung anuman ang tamang tawag dun ay nakatayo at nakatusok sa maliit kong paa. Huwaw! Ang morbid talaga. At ang pinsan kong damuho, hindi malaman ang gagawin. Nakatitig lang at mukhang na-amuse pa ata sa nakatusok sa paa ko. Hindi ko malaman nung mga panahon na un kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin... kung ang pagsigaw ba o ang pag-ngawa. Wut da... How do you expect an 8-year old girl to react?

Buti nalang nandun ang kapatid ng pinsan kong damuho. Sa madaling salita, pinsan ko rin. Nursing student pa lang sha nung mga panahong yun. Ang sabi ni pinsang nurse, "hingang malalim ha...". Paghinga ko, naramdaman ko na binunot nya ung nakatusok sa paa ko kaya nagulat ako. Sa halip na makapag-exhale ako ng matiwasay, nasamid ako. At kitang kita ko na habang umuubo ako, ay dugo naman ng dugo ang sugat ko. Maliit na butas pero dugo ng dugo. Hindi ko mapigil na hindi umubo kaya di rin basta mapahinto ang dugo. Shemes. Buti na lang ang pinsan kong nursing student ay alisto at hinablot ang basahan na pambura ng blackboard na pinagsusulatan ng score. Berigud lang diba. At least huminto ang pagdugo at sabihin na lang natin na swerte ako na hindi nagkaron ng anumang infection ung sugat kahit na nagmistulang Penicillin ang chalkdust sa sugat ko. Hehe.

At dyan po nagtatapos ang aking mumunting kwento.

Bow.

__________________________________________________

PS. di ko alam kung bakit pero bigla ko lang talagang naalala yan kanina.=P

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Room Makeover, Almost Over

Yay... malapit-lapit na matapos yung room makeover ko. Inaayos ko na lang ung mga gamit and meron na lang mga dapat pang bilhin. My room makeover was supposed to be a birthday gift for myself kaya lang di na umabot. So post-birthday gift na lang. :D I'm really excited.

Magastos but it's all worth it.
Green. Purple. Brown.
Haylavet!!!
Wooh!

Alam mo ba...

Na ang first ever movie ni Richard Gomez ay Inday Bote? Together with Maricel Soriano. Yeah I bet you didn't kow that huh.

O diba, sinong makapagsasabing bored ako? Sige nga.

Hindi kaya ako bored. BORED NA BORED, boi. Shemes na yan!


BOOOOOOOO!!!


way too much.

I'm still wide awake, staring at a monitor that cannot talk to me. I used to like spending time alone but I sorta feel anxious right now. Prolly because I've been spending WAY TOO MUCH time alone lately (?). I don't know.

What's going on with me?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

SOMETHING TO DO, finally.

Was talking to Janina awhile ago about our plans on the audition. She asked me if I could be the facilitator of the event and I said yes. So now, I finally have something to do that's worth all my time. Lotsa things to take into considerations, lotsa things to do, lotsa things to plan. I'm excited to be busy.

Bum no more.
Bow.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

when people start changing...


Have been M-I-A for awhile here. Well, let's just say that I got a lot going on with my life - with my health to be exact. And because I missed blogging, I have been thinking of what to write about when I suddenly bumped on my 'cbox'. Then there I saw my superfriend's message about her new url. And from dramaqueen-andeng, it's now dreagazette. I just can't stop smiling after reading her message.. =)

Di ko pa sha nakakausap about this but based on her blog site, she's no longer a drama queen... I am just so happy for her because all those years, since I cannot even remember when, she has been carrying a lot in her heart. Finally, her heart gets to have some rest and peace from all the dramas and other excess bagaages she carried around all those years.


When people start changing for the better, IT IS VERY INSPIRING.


Cheers to the good life!!
You Go Girl!! Payt Payt Payt!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

sick again..boo!

Went to Ortigas yesterday for a check up. It has been almost 2 weeks already since I started having a fever, usually, during night time. My mom went ballistic on me coz I didn't want to go to the hospital. I really didn't think it was anything serious coz I don't feel really sick despite the fever. I feel lightheaded occasionally though. So to keep my mom calm, I went to Ortigas for a consultation.


"Twas a long, tiring day. I felt so exhausted walking under the sun from one building to another. It was like I was back in Elbi for a while only that instead of nature, you see tall buildings and people in corporate attire walking... with an umbrella! pfft.


Kung may sakit ka talaga tapos pinapunta ka dun, mabibinat ka lang. argh!


So they ran a series of tests... CBC, Urinalysis, Xray. The result was scary. Bad news is that, I am suffering an illness. Good news, it's not in any way, contagious and I am not dying or anything of the sort. THANK GOD!


The doctor said I need to have all the rest that I can get for a fast recovery. Good thing she didn't literally mention anything about toning down on physical activities. Whew!

LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE! LET'S DANCE!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Boo Friday!

I was talking to an old friend awhile ago. Since he just celebrated his birthday last Sunday, I asked him a stupid question. Oo, super stupid talaga. I asked him kung anong feeling na 23 na sha. Oha! Then he asked me back… “Ready ka na ba?” I just found myself telling him that I honestly don’t care. Totoo naman e. i don’t care about Friday anymore. All I know is that I’m going to have an ordinary day.

Ang highlight lang, I’ll be on leave… thanks to Meralco’s concept of Birthday Leave. So, going back to the question, “Ready ka na ba?” The answer is Yes. Ready na ako. Ready na ako to face another ordinary day on Friday. I might even prolly have better ordinary days.

So yeah.. I say… BRING IT ON!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

23rd March 20.

And I'm not really sure if there's anything to celebrate about it. I'm feeling that adulthood pressure enough already and for the first time in 5 years, my boyfriend won't be here to celebrate it with me. So tell me, is there anything happy about my birthday? Yes, it's a gift of life I know and I'm thankful for it. It's just that I know that this birthday will just be like an ordinary day.

I don't know how to make it special without Erik. =(

Sunday, March 15, 2009

ABS-CBN issues statement regarding controversial "Blusa" episode of MMK

Maalaala Mo Kaya (MMK) has finally issued an official statement regarding the controversy brought about by their February 28 episode. They admitted that their staff didn't verify the story with UPLB thus, the controversy.

Being a BS Development Communication graduate, we were taught about the importance of validating and verifying all information acquired before writing and releasing the article. It's just like getting both sides of the story. It's very important that all the information is accurate so as not to mislead the general public.

In MMK's case, it's good that they apologized for their mistake. However, having the reputation of catering true to life stories, I just think that they should be more careful next time. Nakakasira kasi ng reputation ng iba ung mga ganyang pagkakamali. Apologizing can never undo the damage that their episode has on UP's reputation. UP holds no guarantee that MMK's apology will reach everybody who has seen MMK's February 28 episode, Blusa. But then again, the damage has already been done.

Dapat PROACTIVE ang mga ganyang show at hindi reactive.
Prevention is always better than cure. Diba?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Lucky friday the 13th!

Friday the 13th nanaman kahapon. If I remember it right, 2nd na yan for 2009. But so far, I didn't encounter anything naman which will make me feel unlucky. As a matter of fact, I have felt super lucky during the two Friday the 13th. I have a fever yesterday, though. But it did not make me feel unlucky at all.

It was my second time to dance with my new crew last night. Comparing it to my debut dance with the group, I really think I did better. I felt more confident last night. I think I successfully redeemed myself from my not-so-great performance at Rockwell last, last month. And I'm so happy na finally, may video na nung dance. At least may mapapakita na ako kay Erik. Weeee!

This is a super tiring week for me and I'm sooo happy that this week's almost over. Finally, I'll get to have some rest and some time to relax and hopefully, finish my room makeover.

P.S. I'll be turning 23 next Friday.. should I celebrate that or what? Hmmm..

hotcakes taste funny with vinegar.

Oo. At kung pano ko nalaman? =D Ewan ko kung sino ba ang mas may pagkakamali.. kung ako ba’y sadyang absent-minded lang o ung Mcdo ay sadyang may pagka-ano lang.

Dahil malapit na ang anniversary week ng Meralco, shempre may mga activities and games kung saan required ang mga employees to participate. Berigud lang ako at mashadong swerte na sa Fire Brigade, w/c is populary called as Obstacle Course, ako nakasali. Huwaaat! We were called for a practice nga nung Wednesday. 8am sharp kelangan nasa Main office na kami. FYI. Ever since the construction of the MRT extension from Monumento to North Ave started, traffic has never been a no show sa area ng Muñoz. As in.. traffic from Bagong Barrio to Muñoz. So what I did, I anticipated the traffic and left the house at around 6am. O diba ang aga ko? Only to find out na hindi pa naman pala traffic ng mga ganung oras. As in I arrived at Ortigas at exactly 7am. So I decided to eat breakfast at Mcdo first. I ordered 2 pc Hotcake and a hot choco. Just when I was looking for the syrup, I accidentally got the Vinegar. E kasi naman bukod sa pareho ng lalagyan, wala pang label. Malay ko ba naman diba? Nun na lang ulit ako kumain ng breakfast sa Mcdo kaya nun na lang ulit ako naka-order ng breakfast meals nila. So what happened next? Go figure it out! =D

So sino nga ba ang mas may pagkakamali? Ako ba na 5am nagising at absent-minded? O ang Mcdo na hindi man lang naglalagay ng labels? Well, I’d have to say Both.

Oh whatta day that was.

Monday, March 9, 2009

go ahead move if you wanna hit that.tired

I'm super tired. I still need to work on my stamina; otherwise, hindi ko kakayanin ung routine namin for the UP gig this 13th. Woooh! goodluck sa akin. Two reherarsals to go.. need to double time. I'm really tired. I think I'd sleep early tonight.. for a change.

Oha! Oha! At nakabuo ako ng isang sentence out of the songs that we're going to use. Pagod nga naman, wooh!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

widgets galore! =D

I was exploring the net for widgets and I stumbled upon some cool ones. You can check it all out on the sidebar. I think my page became a lot more interactive and lively despite its pure white background.

And if you'll notice, I got meself a cyber puppy, Dacky. I named her after the Dachshund that I lost in September of 2007. She got out of the apartment and the last thing I've heard, the guy who got and didn't even bother to return her died. I still feel sad whenever I remember the day I lost her. Oh, I miss Dacky.


black is chic!

I painted my nails black and I’m loving it. so chic! Meheeeen, I’m just so bored today.




Do I look like a rakista? Or an emo perhaps?? But I do look bored, right?


Black is indeed chic... so is my Wordpress.
Check it out: http://akosizen.wordpress.com

dodging roaches.

If there will be a sport like that, then I'd be an athlete now. Haha. I don't know kung anong meron kagabi at bakit nakapasok ang mga flying ipis na yan sa loob ng bahay namin. Hay! ung mga ipis na gumagapang lang, that I can tolerate. Pero ung lumilipad.. YIKES!

But know what, God is soo good. Kasi kahit na takot na takot ako sa ipis, binigyan naman nya ako ng enough ability to sense kung may ipis sa paligid ko. For real. Basta makaamoy ako, alam ko na na meron. Tapos matalas ang mata ko pag sa ipis. Well, siguro human instinct talaga un.. na maging super alert ka para makaiwas sa pinaka-kinatatakutan mo.

Since childhood, takot na talaga ako sa ipis. Hindi ako takot sa daga.. nag-alaga pa nga ako ng bubwit dati e. :D Hindi rin ako takot sa iba pang peste sa bahay.. sa ipis lang talaga. At feeling ko super lumalala ung takot ko sa ipis. Ilang beses na ako muntik madisgrasya makaiwas/makalayo lang sa ipis. Kadiri kasi at ang iscurry ng kanilang ichura. parang nakatitig sayo though sabi ni Erik, hindi naman daw un ung talagang mata ng ipis.

Hay.. pano ba mawawala ung takot ko sa ipis? Natatawa nga ako kasi pag halimbawa itry ko magpatay ng ipis.. shempre unti-unti akong lalapit. At right after ko paluin ng slippers, magsisigaw ako at tatakbo palayo. O sige, tawa pa! Huhu. Hindi talaga ako natatahimik pag alam kong may ipis na malapit sa akin at nakatago lang. Pag nga nakakakita ako ng ipis, tinitinginan ko talaga mabuti at binabantayan kung san na sha napupunta e. Kasi oras na mawala sha sa paningin ko, mapaparanoid na ako. Mukha lang akong tanga, hehe.

Buti na lang ang galing ko umilag at alisto ako kagabi. Whew! para akong nag-exercise. :D

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Remember. Yes, I Remember.

It was in summer of last year when my relationship with my boyfriend went on the rocks. We both had issues - mostly personal ones that we had to deal with that time. Looking back, I can say that the issue came from my end. I was dealing with a personal issue for so long during that time... I've kept that to myself for too long until one day I realized that I don't know myself anymore, or what I want or need to do in my life. I kinda blamed my boyfriend for it and I felt like he didn't fully understand what I was going through and what he had to do with it. So I asked for space out of fear that one day I'll wake up hating him and loving him no more. However to him, it was either way painful and it (asking for space and breakup) almost meant the same. Prolly, to take away all the complications that he can, he took the liberty of asking for a breakup, w/c out of stupidity, I granted.

Tears fell as the weeks passed. We were both in pain... our families were too. I remember my mom would cry with me at night. And during the weekends at LB, my anak-anakans would cry with me too. His sibs would text me everyday just to ask how I was. Everybody who have been a witness of our great love story were all very affected. To have witnessed us grow together in the stretch of four years and six months, they all felt like they have to do something to help us work things out. But they just ended up feeling helpless.

I kept myself busy with my work. Erik, on the other hand, diverted all his attention to dancing. He got his dancing career going good and slowly he was recognized by the dance community. He was often invited to conduct dance classes in the metro. It's what kept him busy during the weekends... the weekends that we were supposed to spend together if we hadn't broken up.

Knowing him, I know he will put whatever it is that he feels to his dancing and so I was watchful of what song he will use in his classes because at that time, it was my only way of knowing. Yes, we were not talking. Of course, I was right. Guess, I know him pretty well. june 28 gave me the validation that I needed. Erik hates me and just like me, he's in so much pain. He used Keyshia Cole's I Remember. The moment I saw in Multiply that he's going to use that song, I immediately googled it and the next thing I know, I was crying nonstop. I called in sick at work the following day because my eyes were totally swollen. I was a mess.

Yes.. I Remember. That was the song that made me ache as if my heart was cut into pieces or maybe worse than that. I felt like a huge part of me died. Then, I turned numb. It was that song. Yes, it was that song that gave me the most excruciating pain in the history of breakups. Few days after that, i got used to the presence of pain. There were no more tears. What can be more painful than seeing him dance all his pain and hatred out, right? what can be more painful than the message of that song.

I remember when my heart broke.
I remember when I gave up loving you.
My heart couldn't take no more of you.
I was sad and lonely.
I remember when I walked out.
I remember when I screamed I hated you.
But somehow deep inside I'm still loving you.
I'm sad and lonely.

See what I mean? I almost gave up because of this song. But I'm glad I didn't. I was able to use the numbness I have to my advantage. I tried to get him back but he kept rejecting me telling me he's not sure if he still wants to. But I kept on trying anyway.I wasn't feeling any pain anymore kaya malakas na malakas na ang loob ko. I practically have nothing to lose. Oo, hinabol ko sya. Pinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko. And I'm glad that I did. Because one day, he came to me and I was full of tears with arms wide open.

I still burst into tears whenever I hear or think of this song during the first months after we got back together. It was a song that I cannot avoid because it was one of his best works. And as the months passed, I find myself gradually coping with the situation. There were no longer tears but there's still a little bit of pain. And today, I accidentally heard this song again in my player and there was no pain at all. I just found myself smiling to the memories this song has in me.

I Remember. This song will forever be a part of me. It will forever be a part of my history. It will forever remind me of the things that I learned in love and life. Above all, it wil remind me that in my life, I have learned to love FOREVER.

ERIK'S Choreography to Keyshia Cole's I REMEMBER


i.am.sick.and.it.sucks.

I am supposed to attend a wedding of two of my close friends from college but I woke up with a fever. This sucks. I really wanted to go because theirs is the first wedding that I was invited to as part of the guest list. But hey, it's not like I gatecrashed every wedding I attended to before this. It's just that, when I attend weddings before, it's either because the couple was a relative or because my family was invited. But this? This is special because the bride and the groom are my friends.. people who I've shared ups and downs with in college.Wrong timing talaga!

Talking about weddings, I am turning 23 on the 20th and most of my friends are about the same age as mine or a little younger/older (Age bracket: 21 to 26). Then that's when it hit me... We are now in or approaching the marrying age. Oh well, this is just one of the inevitable things in life.

Cheers to the good life!

A REPOST: UPLB reacts to ABS-CBN's Maalala Mo Kaya episode

This is just a repost from the official website of the University of the Philippines Los Baños. I watched this episode of Maalaala Mo Kaya (MMK) like I always do since I am oftentimes moved by their featured stories. But upon watching the Feb 28 episode entitled "Blusa", I was really surprised because it featured a story of a Summa Cum Laude graduate from UP who had a super hard time finding a job and ended as a stripper. I can't quite possibly believe it at first because the first thing that entered my mind was that "Ako nga ang bilis nakahanap ng trabaho considering na mas mahirap ngayon tapos sha Summa Cum Laude pero nahirapan?" I was quite bothered at first but I didn't have the time and resources to verify the truth behind the story. So when I stumbled upon this blog entry, I read it and was relieved.

Read on...

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SOURCE: http://uplb.edu.ph/index.php/news-and-announcements/79-uplb-reacts-to-controversial-maalala-mo-kaya-episode

Written by the Office of Public Relations
Friday, 06 March 2009 15:10

UPLB has issued an official statement to ABS-CBN Broadcasting Corporation in light of a recent episode of their Maalala Mo Kaya program which inadvertently cast a bad light on the University and its constituents.

The complete letter is as follows:

Our attention has been called by constituents and alumni to an episode featured in Maala-ala Mo Kaya entitled "Blusa," which was aired on ABS-CBN on Feb. 28 and on TFC recently. Our constituents and alumni were concerned whether the episode was based on truth.

The story was of a woman who allegedly graduated BS AgriBusiness, summa cum laude, from the University of the Philippines Los Baños or UPLB, who could not find a job, and ended up a stripper. We tried to find out who the subject was by tracking all 27 of our summa cum laude graduates from the time the University was established in 1909. We could not find anyone matching the subject as portrayed in "Blusa."

Whether or not the subject was a UPLB graduate, we deeply sympathize with her and her family. However, in the interest of maintaining its reputation as a truthful storyteller, the MMK should have a mechanism to validate claims by letter senders especially those that require a stretch of imagination as to be believed.

While indeed touching and a perfect example of a human-interest story, "Blusa" regrettably affected the reputation of UPLB as an educational institution and its constituents and alumni. We therefore request ABS-CBN to set the record straight and correct the wrong impression that it created among its viewers. We also make an appeal to producers of similar programs to be more prudent in reporting stories with claims that would affect the reputation not only of a school but also of its alumni in the Philippines and abroad.

Thank you.

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POST-SCRIPT:

I'm not sure if UPLB was the UP Campus mentioned in the story or if they specified one. However, as far as I know (anyone's free to correct me if I'm wrong), UPLB is the only UP Campus that offers Agriculture-related courses.