Tuesday, April 28, 2009
For the nth time, I feel insecure.
And I hate it every time this happens.
I HATE IT!
Monday, April 27, 2009
I know it sounds stupid but I feel guilty everytime I look at my books. It's as if, "Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila." If they can talk, they would probably say they have been feeling ultimately jealous of my computer. Haha. That's why, I want to try to revert to my old ways - spending more time with my books and less time with my computer.
Kaya ko kaya?
Separation anxiety, please don't get in my way.
For some unknown reason, I woke up an hour earlier than my alarm clock. As in, I went off the bed and opened the door, walked out of my room and called for my mom. I just kept saying, "Ma? Mama? Ma?" in a searching tone.
I really have no idea why I did that. It was the first thing that popped in my mind and I don't know why. I am not like that. I mean, I don't just do such things unless I feel scared or worried. That's why I find it so weird. I am neither worried nor scared. It left me feeling uber weird and uncomfy the rest of the morning.
Perhaps it really wasn't supposed to mean anything.
But I feel like it meant something.
Or maybe I miss my mom.
We haven't been able to talk like before the past few weeks.
On a less weirder note, Erik and I had the same dream TODAY. We both had a dream that he was already home and that we went to the beach. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, having the same dream and being together in THAT dream but I really do think it means something. It's actually sweet and I felt really good. Maybe we just miss each other so much. Mushy as it may sound but perhaps, our love has found a way for us to spend the summer together. Sounds impossible but who knows I might actually be right, right?
Maybe, these dreams are my unique, subconscious way of coping with the changes that has occurred recently in my life - Erik leaving for Saudi and Mom getting busy with the family business. They are the two people that I hold closest in my heart and I miss them...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I watched two movies, 27 Dresses and the American version of My Sassy Girl. It both told a fun and great love story but it left me depressed. It both had a happy ending but I was in tears all along, even in those parts where the couple's having the time of their lives just before the part where the conflict's gonna happen. I was crying real tears. I was in tears in most parts of the movie because it reminded me of how Erik and I was before he left for KSA. The movies just made me miss him even more.
And because the movies made me cry, I think I am entitled to my own revenge. haha! Here are some comments. No offense meant to those who thought otherwise.
27 Dresses has a great story but the casting's not that good. Katherine Heigl's way too pretty for James Marsden. Thank God they were both good. So I guess it's safe to say that their talents made up for the fact that they did not look really good together in the movie. But of course, that's not the reason why I cried over this. =P
My Sassy Girl (American version) has a good story too. And oh I loved the part where the old man told Elisha Cuthbert what Destiny means. "Destiny is the bridge you make to the one you love." Just perfect. I just wasn't exactly blown away by how the movie was, especially the parts where Jesse Bradford's reading the stories Elisha wrote. It was only because of the story that I got carried away towards the end.
bitin! I want more ME-time. More. More. More.
Here I go again, always asking for more. :D
Pandoras Box - Lil Eddie
We all had to do a freestyle. Well, I'm not sure exactly how I did but I'll bet I looked stupid. So what? It was still fun. I had fun. It was like we were just bonding and not doing something serious like our portfolio, perhaps. :D
Yesterday was by far, the coolest day i've had with the girls.
WE ARE THE MUSIQALITY.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I slept at 3:30am just thinking of what to wear. I need two sets of costumes,
one's hiphop and the other one should tell something about our occupation.
I'm confident about my hiphop attire. Just don't ask me about the other one.
Kung pwede lang magdala ng kuntador e! Haha!
Where are the creative juices when you actually need them?
PS. I dreamt I was back to school and that my team leader and her assistant are the professors!
Hmmm.. it got me thinking. What if... :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
On a lighter note, I am beginning to hate this. Been spending too much time at my brother's room because I'm using his computer. I'm beginning to think I made a mistake of sacrificing my computer in exchange of some extra space in my room. Fyi, the room's already done! Maybe I should really stick to my other plan - the "gastos-nanaman-plan". Maybe I really should grab that netbook I saw in the mall a few days ago. But I already fixed my budget and pronounced it as THE budget already just few days before I saw the netbook, darn it. Alms... alms... alms... anyone?
PS. John Statham is soooo hot! Tsss!
Bakit nga ba biglang naging maulan?
May bagyo ba? :)
Everytime I look back, there's still that definite pain in remembering everything. As much as I wanna let go of it, I cannot.
How are we supposed to forgive ourselves?
I always pick up from this. This has always been effective.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
PS. I almost starved myself to death at work today.
Screw the internet connection at K.S.A. Boo!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Also, I had my hair trimmed yesterday but it's weird coz I think it looked longer instead. haha. Nevertheless, I'm happy coz I was finally able to spend my day as planned. Now that's another one. Cheers!
It was more of a miracle that I woke up feeling not too lazy to go somewhere kinda far like Trinoma. It's just 40 to 45 minutes away though (thanks to NLEX). Usually, I plan on going out to spend some ME-time at some place like Trinoma, Shang, or GB but because of laziness, will end up at some place 15 minutes away from home like SM. So yesterday was outstanding just because of that.
My day went as planned. I was able to cross out lots of things from my "to buy" list. So the 92% has now become 97%. Weeee! The last piece that will turn my room makeover to a room madeover is the dresser. I thought of buying it at OurHome but gaaaaad, it's too expensive. Plus, I didn't find anything close enough to how I want my dresser to be. I want something not spacious, without a mirror, and functional in terms of the drawers and storage. Since I've gone tired of storehopping and mall hopping in search for the perfect dresser, I decided to just draw the design and find someone who can create magic and turn the drawing into something really tangible. It'll be less expensive and best of all, it's customized. I just have to wait until the weekend for the construction. I didn't really want to wait anymore but hey, patience is a virtue.
The carpenter better be good; otherwise, I'll be doomed! :p
-- Lemme try that.
2. Are you involved with anyone?
-- Super much!
3. Where do you wish you were right now?
-- Saudi. Cooking dinner for Erik ♥
4. What should you be doing right now?
5. Does sex means love?
-- It does for some. Including me! =)
6. What do you believe is a true saying about life?
-- You'll never get out of it alive.
7. Are you a bad influence?
-- I think so, minsan. Hahaha. Oh c'mon... we all are, at some point.
8. Who has had the most influence on you (good)?
-- My part-time mongoloid, full-time lovable boyfriend and My retarded friends.
9. night out or night in?
-- I'm more of the "night in" type but to be a "night out" type sometimes is fun also!
10. single forever with a great family or no family and your soul mate?
-- I'd initially choose the single forever life but eventually, will be tired of resisting the latter. =D
11. what is your favorite game?
-- Life. And I see to it that I always play right. Kiddin'! Sa Monopoly lang at UNO masaya na ako.
12. Your favorite book?
-- I cried over Message In A Bottle!
13. do you know how to change a tire?
-- Yes, I do but I'm too tired for those kind of stuff. hihi.
14. What item could you not go without during the day?
-- My phone and my player.
15. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
16. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
-- Hmmm.. si Gene ata.
18. Have you ever lied about something important to your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
-- Yeah. Hehe.
19. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
-- I don't treat love as a game. So I'd go for someone who's a keeper.
20. When was the last time you hugged someone?
-- Feb 14. I hugged lotsa people in Elbi.
21. Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
-- I'm not a fan of tongue piercing. I want someone neat!
22. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
-- No I haven't but I'm thinking about it. Haha.
23. Do you ever think about any of your ex's?
-- I'm too busy for that kind of thoughts.
25. Need to get something off your chest? Are you going to?
-- In God's time. =)
26. How do you feel about your life right now?
-- Depends on what aspect we're talking about here. =D
27. have you been pulled over by the police?
-- Not yet.
28. What kind of car do you drive?
-- Ang akala kong kasunod ng primera ay sekundarya. Now, do I sound like I drive? =D
29. What characteristic do you despise the most?
30. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
-- Yeah! And oh I hated the hangover.
31. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
-- Hahaha, yeah! The story was crazy but it was one hella experience.
32. How's the relationship between you and your ex?
-- Which ex? I am still friends with the most recent one. I have no contact with the one before that and etc. Haha.
33. Do you talk dirty to people?
34. Do you think you can make it on a "Moment of Truth"?
-- Yeah, I think so.
35. Anyone upsets you lately?
36. Last person you talked to on the phone?
37. Can you easily tell if someone's fake?
-- Yes. It will show.
38. Do you think your dumb?
40. What could be done to make things better for you?
-- Lose weight and some more Me-time!
41. Do you love someone at the moment?
-- Yes. Super much!
42. How's your heart?
43. Ever kissed someone with a name starting with a C?
-- Not yet.
44. When was the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
-- Haha, samin na lang un.
46. Are you happy with your living arrangement?
-- No. I miss him so bad.
47. Do you have trust issues?
-- No. Not anymore.
48. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
-- I forgive but I never forget. I am like that.
So today, everything was back to normal. I went back to work and my ME-time is already over. I don't know if this is normal but I don't feel happy nor excited. I feel nothing. I don't feel sad about going to work too. Weird. All I know is that I'm going to miss doing nothing. I wish there was more ME-time.
And oh by the way, Monday at work was not bad after all.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Malapit na! Lapit na matapos ang aking room makeover - my post birthday gift to myself. :D Chyeah! I just have to buy a few more stuff then it's all set. Kung magagawa ko lahat ng plano ko for tomorrow, tomorrow night ay pwede na ako matulog sa room ko. Gusto ko kasi pag matulog ako dun, tapos na ung maekover. Made over na at hindi na makeover :D
Wish me luck!
Naalala ko lang bigla ang isang kahindik-hindik na pangyayari na naganap nung bata pa ako. Tandang tanda ko pa nun, 8 years olad ako, naglalaro kami ng pinsan ko ng dart. Shempre dahil bata batuta pa ako nun, sha ung nagdadart at ako naman ung taga-kuha ng dart. Akala ko ganun talaga konsepto ng larong un.. 2 players tapos yung isa ang titira at yung isa ang taga-kuha. Hehe. Sa isip-isip ko pa nun, ang cool ko naman kako kasi nakakalaro na ako ng mga ganung laro sa murang edad kong un. Yun naman pala, inuuto lang ako ng damuho kong pinsan. Bleh! So much for the intro.
So yun nga, ako ang taga-kuha. Tumutuntong ako sa isang upuan para maabot ung mga arrow. Hanggang sa may nangyaring hindi ko inaasahan. Nabitawan ko ung mga panira at ung isa, nalaglag sa paa ko. A view from the top... ehem, ehem... Ang dart piece o arrow o kung anuman ang tamang tawag dun ay nakatayo at nakatusok sa maliit kong paa. Huwaw! Ang morbid talaga. At ang pinsan kong damuho, hindi malaman ang gagawin. Nakatitig lang at mukhang na-amuse pa ata sa nakatusok sa paa ko. Hindi ko malaman nung mga panahon na un kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin... kung ang pagsigaw ba o ang pag-ngawa. Wut da... How do you expect an 8-year old girl to react?
Buti nalang nandun ang kapatid ng pinsan kong damuho. Sa madaling salita, pinsan ko rin. Nursing student pa lang sha nung mga panahong yun. Ang sabi ni pinsang nurse, "hingang malalim ha...". Paghinga ko, naramdaman ko na binunot nya ung nakatusok sa paa ko kaya nagulat ako. Sa halip na makapag-exhale ako ng matiwasay, nasamid ako. At kitang kita ko na habang umuubo ako, ay dugo naman ng dugo ang sugat ko. Maliit na butas pero dugo ng dugo. Hindi ko mapigil na hindi umubo kaya di rin basta mapahinto ang dugo. Shemes. Buti na lang ang pinsan kong nursing student ay alisto at hinablot ang basahan na pambura ng blackboard na pinagsusulatan ng score. Berigud lang diba. At least huminto ang pagdugo at sabihin na lang natin na swerte ako na hindi nagkaron ng anumang infection ung sugat kahit na nagmistulang Penicillin ang chalkdust sa sugat ko. Hehe.
At dyan po nagtatapos ang aking mumunting kwento.
PS. di ko alam kung bakit pero bigla ko lang talagang naalala yan kanina.=P
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Magastos but it's all worth it.
Green. Purple. Brown.
Na ang first ever movie ni Richard Gomez ay Inday Bote? Together with Maricel Soriano. Yeah I bet you didn't kow that huh.
O diba, sinong makapagsasabing bored ako? Sige nga.
Hindi kaya ako bored. BORED NA BORED, boi. Shemes na yan!
What's going on with me?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Bum no more.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Have been M-I-A for awhile here. Well, let's just say that I got a lot going on with my life - with my health to be exact. And because I missed blogging, I have been thinking of what to write about when I suddenly bumped on my 'cbox'. Then there I saw my superfriend's message about her new url. And from dramaqueen-andeng, it's now dreagazette. I just can't stop smiling after reading her message.. =)
Di ko pa sha nakakausap about this but based on her blog site, she's no longer a drama queen... I am just so happy for her because all those years, since I cannot even remember when, she has been carrying a lot in her heart. Finally, her heart gets to have some rest and peace from all the dramas and other excess bagaages she carried around all those years.
When people start changing for the better, IT IS VERY INSPIRING.
Cheers to the good life!!
You Go Girl!! Payt Payt Payt!!