Friday, December 31, 2010

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

Last year, before 2009 ended, I wrote an entry summarizing everything that happened, everything I felt, everything I thought in that year. Everything that I can remember. And as this year comes to a close, I want to do the same.

2010 was a year of CHANGE for me. So many things happened and I am a changed person because of these events.

JANUARY. January was a month of adventure. A lot of new people came in my life. I met a lot of new friends because I was invited to join the Cheerdance Squad of our department. This is the month when I met Ryan and Grace, who are now two of my closest pals. SOLID! I remember going through some emotional problems. At some point, I asked myself if time does really heal all wounds.

1) I was given a solo part for our cheerdance routine. (1/9)
2) I was chosen to be a part of the power dance for our routine. (1/24)
3) My anniversary in Musiqality. (1/21)
4) My first bonding experience w/ Ryan and Grace at Timezone Trinoma, where it all began. (1/31)

Movies I watched this month:
1) Mano Po 6 (1/3)
2) Avatar (1/17)
3) Sherlock Holmes (1/20)
4) Legion (1/29)

FEBRUARY. February was a month of struggle for me. I was so confused during this month. I don't know whether what I was going through was just a phase or a permanent condition.

It was also in this month when I had an old suitor. Old as in around 60-ish. He wrote me an old-school love letter. He's an old contractor I met at work.

I spent and celebrated Valentine's Day with Musiqality in Bohol.

1) I took an exam for my first promotion. (2/9-10)
2) My Bohol Trip w/ Musiqality. (2/12-14)
3) Overnight Bonding w/ my Cheermates. (2/18)
4) Photoshoot with Musiqality for 2010. (2/21)
5) Family dinner w/ Arnel Pineda's Family at Dencio's, Eastwood. (2/28)

MARCH. March was a month of goodbye. In this month, I learned that not all good things last. Life will do what it does best. It always surprises you... never fails. I chose to love myself more and to love myself 'first'. I was able to build a stronger bond of friendship with the people around me; the people who have seen me broken.

I always believed that if you really love a person, never let him go. If he walks away, run after him. That's my philosophy in love.

Being scared means you're on to something important, right?

1) Saw Lola Chie again. (3/7)
2) Paramore concert. (3/9)
3) CRS Cheerdance Squad projection workshop w/ teammate Louie. (3/11)
4) Meralco Cheerdance Competition. (3/16)
5) Meralco Day/My birthday I spent with my barkada. (3/20)
6) My PURPLE Birthday Celebration at San Pablo, Laguna. (3/21)

Movie/s I watched this month:
1) Alice in Wonderland (3/7)

APRIL. This is the month where I had to find acceptance of whatever happened in my life. It was when Arianne asked me this "Tinapon na nga nya, bakit hindi mo pa itapon?" when I realized that it's better to just move on. All the hopes of getting everything back died. At some point, I had to make a choice and I chose to love myself first a little more. Paula Deanda's Overloved was the best song for me.

This was also the time when I started reconnecting with my officemates because I was away more than I was with them during the first quarter of the year because of my extra curricular activities.

1) I lost weight. From 125lbs to 117lbs.
2) Baguio Trip with Karlo, Stephen, Ryan, and Grace. (4/9-11)
3) Got the result of my promotion. (4/21)
4) Heart-to-heart talk. (4/23)
5) My parents' Silver Wedding Anniversary (4/28)

Movies I watched this month:
1) Babe I Love You (4/16)
2) Kick Ass (4/21)

MAY. A month of maturity and higher level of involvement. This was the first time I felt that whether my presidential bet loses or wins, my vote was worth it. Gibo was my president.

Death happens everyday but if it happened to someone you really know, it's different. We miss you, Uncle Ed!

I remember the night of our Cheering Squad outing at Pawikan Island. Everything was surreal. I still recall everything as if it just happened yesterday.

TOS is a barkada to keep. I love you, guys!

All the weight I lost in the first quarter of this year, I gained back this month... prolly more. The downsides of not dancing anymore. I miss dancing. But I missed Musiqality even more.

I lost and found my way this month.

1) Mom's Day celebration at Lim's (5/9)
2) Meralco Valenzuela BC Outing (5/14)
3) Club Bureau for Jaic's Birthday (5/15)
4) Cheering Outing at Pawikan Island (5/22-23)

Movies I watched this month:
1) Iron Man 2 (5/11)
2) Shrek 3D (5/29)

JUNE. The month where I realized that I am finally living, selflessly loving, and really learning. I let myself move at my own pace and I really think that it was by far the best thing I've ever let myself do.

I had another 'first' on this month. It was my first time to watch a Musical Play starred by a famous celebrity. I watched Legally Blonde for free at Meralco Theater. Oh well, the perks of being a Meralco employee. Hehe.

I was able to go back and shop at Divisoria again. It really is the place to be.

1) TOS Trip to Pagudpud (6/11-13)
2) Divisoria w/ Avs and Kiwi (6/19)
3) Legally Blonde Musical Play at Meralco Theater (6/23)
4) Birthday surprise for Avs (6/26)
5) Heart to heart talk with TOS boys and Avs (6/27)

Movies I watched this month:
1) Prince of Persia (6/7)
2) Karate Kid (6/26)
3) Knight and Day (6/30)

JULY. In this month, I've proven that FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES. I tried to set aside dancing to be able to focus on my professional career but it wasn't easy at all. Hinahanap-hanap ko ang pagsasayaw. I can never leave it behind. It's who I am.

I started to feel the hunger for greater knowledge. I want to study again.

I bought a netbook as a late Birthday gift for myself. Best thing about it? It's purple!! Yehesss! That's pretty much the highlight of this month.

Movies I watched:
1) Toy Story 3D (7/1)
2) Eclipse (7/10)
3) Inception (7/24)
4) Hating Magkapatid (7/27)

AUGUST. A month where I felt scared most of the time because of my health. I've consulted my doctors regularly just so I'd know what to do. I was under medication starting this month. One time I was rushed in the hospital after my mom found me almost unconscious in the bathroom.

My dad met an accident. He slipped and bumped his head on a rock. He had a cut. Thank God Medocare covered all the expenses.

So much about health problems.

For the first time, I brought Mitch along with me on an event and introduced him to my friends from the dance community. It took time before it sunk in to them that I am actually dating again. They were happy or me... well, if not all, at least most of them.

1) Mitch's surprise visit at the office (8/19)
2) Maximum Groovity 6 (8/27)
3) Musiqality's anniversary celebration (8/30)

Movies I watched this month:
1) Salt (8/7)
2) Step Up 3D (8/14)

SEPTEMBER. This month was superb. I was finally able to watch the UAAP Cheerdance Competition live. I am kamote no more. Not to mention we had a great seat. Thanks to my dad and to his connections. UP won 1st place, yeah!

I was able to dance with the female members of All Stars for the Skechers Kickoff Party but it was a MAJOR FAILURE. Costume malfunction at its worst. Demmit.

There was that fear that my dreams will not happen for me. Well, broken dreams are still dreams nonetheless. In my 24 years, I felt like I haven't learned anything. I wish I am wrong.

"I think I forgot how it feels to chase the real thing. I think I'm ready again." - How I Met Your Mother

1) UAAP Cheerdance (9/12)
2) Skechers Kickoff Party (9/18)

Movie/s I watched:
1) Mamarazzi

OCTOBER. I was enraged in this month. Someone, a low-life being, tried to ruin me by creating a fake facebook account using my picture and my name. How low can she get. Insecurity is a social disease and there's no cure for that. SORRY. :P As paulo Coelho puts it, Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everyone else likes you.

October is a special month for me because it was at this month when the right time came. Antonio and I became officially together. I am so happy in love.

1) PBA Opening. Go Meralco Bolts! (10/2)
2) Jacknina & Rocky's Wedding (10/10)
3) Meralco Valenzuela BC Octoberfest (10/15)
4) Surprise for Froggy (10/16)

NOVEMBER. This was a month of events and major detox! I love this month!

I was asked to choreograph a whole routine for the Meter Readers' Recognition Program. But when Balintawak CATL, Sir Kalaw, saw our practices, he asked us to perform at the Corporate Governance Roadshow! Wooooot! This is some sort of an achievement for me because this is my first time to choreograph a whole routine all by myself and I pullet it off.

And because the year was about to end, all the business centers had a planning workshop. Ours was held at Pansol, Laguna. It was more of an outing rather than a planning workshop. Had a heart-to-heart talk with Leri and Rosa.

I also applied for postpaid plans under Globe and Sun. Its more convenient for me.

This was also the first time I experienced Vertigo.

I was re-assigned by Mam Vivian. I no longer handle service applications. I'm now assigned at Complaints Resolution.

1) The Vagina Monologues (11/5)
2) Roadtrip to Alabang (11/16)
3) Nightout with officemates (11/17)
4) Skechers Finals at Araneta (11/20)
5) First Monthsary (11/21)
6) Surprise for Mitch (11/22)
7) Tagaytay Roadtrip (11/28)

DECEMBER. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Lalala ♪♫♪. I wish my brother was here though. This is the 2nd Christmas that we're not together and I miss him big time.

I am proud of myself because I rose above the situation. I was able to forgive someone even though she wasn't even apologizing and worse, not even owning up to her own mistakes. But I was able to do it. Little steps.

1) Quest crew at Eastwood (12/4)
2) Roadtrip to UPLB (12/5)
3) Meralco Christmas Party at Ortigas (12/11)
4) Emcee at Meralco Valenzuela BC Christmas Party (12/17)
5) Musiqaity Christmas Date (12/18)
6) Simbang gabi with Mitch & 2nd Monthsary (12/21)
7) Fortaleza Clan's Christmas Reunion (12/24)
8) House Blessing (12/28)
9) Christmas Party - Pamana Canteen (12/29)

Movies I saw this month:
1) My Amnesia Girl (12/11)
2) Dalaw (12/31)

- 30 -

What a year it was. Life is really full of surprises. Tomorrow is never a promise that's why we should cherish everything and everyone in our life. 2010 was one heck of a memorable year.

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Random. Again.

  • I keep getting less than what I deserve. Is the problem with me? Or with the people around me?
  • I miss my brother. BIG TIME.
  • To my DEAR officemate, if you really trust your boyfriend like you say you do, then maybe you can leave me alone? And don't go giving me that bad look and deny it in the end. I KNOW WHAT I SAW. Don't go acting all goodie-goodie on me when someone's around and do otherwise when no one's looking. I seriously think you're stuck in highschool.
  • Why can't I feel the things you say. :( Broken promises. That's what you keep giving me so far.
  • Gracie really is my soul sister.
  • I want to go away from everything and from everybody.

First of a Last

Hello December means goodbye November. It's the first day of the last month of this year and I don't think it's a good thing to be feeling the way I do. I don't know. It gives me negative vibes like I'm gonna be feeling this way for the entire month. I hope not.

My day was a total bore. Usually, at this time of the year, I'm already feeling giggly over the thought of Christmas. But I'm not feeling that way, at least not yet. Something just feels so wrong about my day and it frustrates me that I can't identify what that is. Demmit. Instead of writing about positive stuff, I am ranting over a bad day as if something's gonna change if I continue doing this. I don't understand but I really have to let this out with the hopes of being able to get rid of this feeling after this entry. *Fingers crossed*

I guess I'll just have to end this day earlier than usual. Tomorrow should be better. I hope it will be.


P.S. Why do I keep giving almost everything even though I get less of what I know I deserve. This sucks.