Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
There were times when I asked why there are relationships that grow cold. I thought figuring out where it went wrong would give me the answers I'm looking for but at the end of my attempts, I am back to where I started - still asking myself. Perhaps, no one can really question love because it's supposed to be felt, not to be figured out.
I just came out of a six-year relationship and the moment it was over, I thought life had already lost its meaning. I didn't know where to pick up from. I didn't know how to start over again. I thought I was faced with an impossible task of forgetting. I thought forgetting him will be the key to my salvation. However, all my efforts to forget him has just doubled the pain. The more that I forced myself into forgetting, the more intense the pain became. So I let myself move in my pace. Then, I started collecting myself, one step at a time. I lived every today and every tomorrow as it came. I started to make plans for myself. I made a list and lost it. But the point here is that I was able to make that first step. I realized and learned so many things. I realized that I can never take him off my heart just like the ones before him. They will forever be a part of me. They are a part of who I am. They were all like an added pillar that strengthened me as a person. I'd like to think they made me stronger and better.
Sometimes you really need to step back to see things in a clearer perspective and that's what I did. Thus, no more victimizing myself. No more why-questions. No more tears. No more hoping. No more pain. I realized that not all good things last. Note that this isn't pessimism. This is reality and this is as real as it can get. This is life.
I have no regrets about what happened. I am just thankful that once in my life the feeling lived in my heart and made me happy. Thank you.
Going back to my younger years, I can say I've been dancing all my life. There were times though when I tried to leave dancing thinking it was necessary at the time. But dancing proved to be more that just an extra activity. It became more like my way of life. I dance what I feel and I feel what I dance. It was like that. My love for dancing has been tried and tested over the years. Now, I've finally came to a late realization that nothing and no one can ever take this away from me.
It feels so good to finally go back to dancing again after some months of absence. The feeling is beyond words to describe. I missed dancing and I missed Musiqality above all.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Oh I dread Wednesdays all because of the fit of my uniform. My Wednesday uniform makes me look fat. Oh lemme rephrase that. It really shows that I am fat and is getting fatter. Demmit. I get pretty much the same comments from different people every Wednesday. "Tumataba ka ata ah..", "Ma'am, bumibilog tayo ah.", "Zen parang tumataba ka nga talaga." My reaction? I just answer with a smile while punching them straight on the face in my mind. 'Twas a joke, of course, but half-meant. :D
Gaaaaaad.. this is so depressing. How many times do I have to tell all of you, I am not fat. I'm just BIG BONED! Hahaha!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
- Eclipse. I finally got to see it. Yes, 'finally' really is the perfect word. It was nice. Bella got prettier and Jacob is still a hunk as ever! I think it's the best among the series. The dialogues were sweeter and smarter. The only thing I didn't like about the story is the climax. It was sort of 'bitin'. Oh and also, I still don't get it why it was entitled as such. It's either I'm too slow or the title really does not have any relevance to the story at all. I guess I better start reading the book. My date thinks the change of director prolly has something to do with the improvements in the screenplay and the cinematography. He can be wrong but I think he's right. Or am I just bias? ;p
- Toy Story 3 in 3D. Such an adorable movie. It was funny and a tearjerker at the same time. The story sort of reminded me how some things are really inevitable and how these things can hurt you but still make you feel alive. Well, we only gain in life.
- Divisoria. Another 'finally'. After a long time, I got to visit the place again. Shopped a little with Avs and Kiwi. Had an encounter with flood and wished that Jaic was there with us. Lol. No matter how crowded it gets, Divisoria simply is the place to be.
- Knight and Day. Had a movie date with Froggy and Avs before going to Avs's surprise birthday party. She was totally clueless and I loved it. Hehe. It was a great gimmick and congratulations to Froggy for a well-planned surprise. :D
- Legally Blonde. The perks of being a Meralco employee!! Yeah. We got to watch this for free. FYI, I'm referring to Nikki Gil's theater play and not Reese Witherspoon's movie. Nikki was good, in fairness. I didn't recognize Cris Villongco, who played the role of Vivian. And Nyoy Volante really is a small guy. Hehe. Oh and Jet Pangan was part of the cast too.
- QUALITY TIME. The best part of everything. 'Nuff said. OMG!
- Family Bonding. I dated my family one Sunday... My treat, for a change. Had a great time; I wish my brother's here though. Yayan, my adopted baby brother, finally had his first professional haircut at Cuts for Tots at Trinoma. He's the cutest rock star ever!! :D
- Date. Long talk about life, love, and everything in between. Plus the fireworks for the added romantic drama. I am smiling. I definitely am. Thank you. ♥
- Musiqality. I miss them so bad. I'm so excited to finally see them again after months of being MIA. I missed dancing but not as much as I missed these ladies.
- Service Application. After six months of handling complaints, I am back in service applications. Paguran nanaman itey! WARLA! Less monitoring, less irate customers, less phone calls, less stress but more pagod... mooooore pagoooood. Demmit!!
- Masters Degree. I am craving for higher education. Or do I just miss being a student? But this has to wait til next year. My savings is still not enough. Gaaaad... I wanna study again.
Days weren't as boring and as hectic as before. My life started to make more sense and became more interesting. I am finally back on track. Things are a lot better now. The sun always shows up after the storm. That's just the way it is.