Tuesday, February 26, 2008

...on expenditures

Paminsan-minsan hindi rin naman masamang bumili ng kung anu-ano, right? Haha, excuses. That's the problem with me eh. I'm a self-proclaimed kuripot pero once I start buying things, ayun... tuluy-tuloy na yun. Like kanina, waldas mode ako. Nakatanggap kasi ako ng pahabol na aguinaldo from my ninong who came here from australia kaya ayun, so I bought a jacket, a top, dvds, bangles, nail polish, etc. And I also reserved some items sa Muliply. :D minsan lang naman ito mangyari and one more thing, hindi naman ganun kalaki yung gastos ko kasi malaki yung natanggap ko. I mean, wala pa sa half. It's been a while na rin kasi since I bought things for myself. Ohwell, that's the highlight of my day.

Tanong: Gaano kadalas ang minsan? Toink.

Monday, February 25, 2008

happy like a happy meal =D

Few hours ago, I received a text from my ex-online job asking if I can work for them again. Months have passed na kasi since the last time they've given me a project so I thought they're no longer in need of my service. Screw assumptions, hindi naman pala ganun. In fact, in their text, they said "Pwede ka na ba ulit tumanggap ng project?" Then I remembered that during the last weeks of 2007, I've been constantly rejecting projects due to conflict of schedule and lack of ample time to accomplish those. So maybe, they assumed that I'm not interested anymore. When in fact, my life's pretty much screwed up since mid of last year pa kaya hindi ko maasikaso yung projects. Plus, I've been busy with the family business and dealing with conflicts. Assumptions talaga noh? They make things worse. Imagine? I've been jobless for ilang months thinking that I was fired, ayun naman pala, hinihintay ng employer ko ung text or email ko. I've been struggling kaya financially the past months kasi nahihiya na ako humingi ng pera sa parents ko only to find out na meron naman pala ako pwede mapagkuhanan ng money, all this time. Anyway, what's important is that I'm no bum anymore and I hope I'll no longer be in a tight budget in the coming days. Yahoooooo!!

missin' slide-up phones =)

It has been my habit to check my phone right after I wake up. And because I've been using a slide-up phone for a long while - Nokia 5300 and then Nokia 6288, once in awhile, I still find myself sliding my thumb on my phone, like how you'd slide a slide-up phone to uncover the keypad. After a long while, it happened again this morning and my mom saw it. Her reaction? She didn't say anything but I can easily read "Huh?" on her face. This may be a little(?) shallow but I think I miss using slide-up phones. I've always thought of it as cool and stylish and I can't remember what made me decide to give up my N6288 in exchange for a N5310. My bad, I guess.

A simple example of giving up something you've always liked only to regret and miss it after it's gone. Life, oh life.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

...on love and prejudice

I really can't recall any incident in my life where I received any form of special treatment from my maternal grandmother. It's really not that big a deal, though. Sure, we all have someone or some people in our lives who we find very special to us. Even our parents has their favorite child, they just don't let that show. But my grandmother's different. She has her favorite among us (her grandchildren) and no matter how much she denies it, it really shows. It was already proven for a lot of times. Proven and tested, ika nga. Oh well, what can we say? I guess that's life. Actions will always speak louder than words. Much a cliche but the measure of truth in it is undeniable.

Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm not writing about this because I'm bitter, envious, or jealous. It's really not that. Though I was, way way back but I guess I've learned to just let things go, especially those that's out of my control. So if I'm not the favorite apo, so be it. I'm perfectly fine with it now. Anyway, back to what I was really trying to say, I just find it so amazing how much my lola loves my cousin in spite of everything my cousin have done.

Nobody's perfect, yes. We all sin. We all have our lapses, shortcomings, failures. It all just differ to the extent of our mistakes, the consequences, and the regrets. At one point in our lives, we all have been the cause of other's pain, disappointment, anger, and the like - pretty much like my cousin to my lola. It may seem quite ironic, at least for me, because whenever I encounter the concept of "favorite-ing" someone, it's always the good persons who gets to be the favorite one. I'm not trying to say that my cousin's the bad/black sheep but if based on the extent of mistakes, maybe she is. But still, she's the favorite... the chosen one. And no matter how much she screwed up her life, my lola just kept on loving her. Saying bad things out of anger, only to end up hugging her. Isn't that amazing? Unconditional love.

That's love eh. When you love a person, you love them as a whole. You love every bit and inch of that person. You learn to love even the imperfections. And whatever s/he does, how bad she screws up, or how bad s/he makes you feel, you still love him/her. It won't change. There's no reason to love him/her less or to stop loving him/her at all.


Saturday, February 23, 2008

wanted: " o r i g i n a l i t y "

"Lemme" start this with "gaya gaya puto-maya, paglaki buwaya!!" Hoho! Wala lang. I'm really not a fan of idolizing someone to the point that you start to imitate the person in whatever friggin' way. I don't know why. Ayoko talaga sa mga taong gaya-gaya, especially if ako yung ginagaya. Sure some would say na nagfifeeling lang ako but I'd love to disagree with that. Hehe, antaray lang eh. Let's just say, I have my basis and I can prove it. And besides, it's easy to see if a person's imitating you, your style, or whatever. It's really flattering and annoying all at the same breath, at least for me.

I came across this blog kasi and I noticed na his/her style of writing changed. Bigla naging kaparehas ng sa akin, kumusta naman yun diba? Yes it's flattering but like I said, I also find it annoying. On a personal note, ang tingin ko sa mga taong gumagaya ay "parasite". They let others find their own style or think of their own crap then pag magustuhan nila, they'd adapt it and make it appear as if it's their original stuff. Duh.

In fairness naman din, I'll admit that my style (in general) isn't all original in the sense na hindi ko yun na-derive from scratch. Pero hindi ko rin naman siya ginaya. If there's one thing I really enjoy doing, it's people-watching. Then from there, I let the people around me influence me.. yun, pero hindi yung gagayahin ko sila. You mix their style with your own, parang ganun. You create your own hybrid.

Para lang yan sa dance eh, you do your own choreography. Copying other's choreo and publicizing it as if it was your own is a big no-no. Biters ang tawag dun and sa dance community, they don't get any respect irregardless of how good they are. Sabi nga ng isang choreographer, Be the extension of the vision and not of the choreography... basta something like that.

Life nga naman. I didn't think na pati sa pagsusulat, may pamba-BITE din na nangyayari. Anyway, to sum this up, I hate parasites who benefit from other's creative juices. Di naman obvious noh?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

..on doodling and writing

I know I still haven't posted the continuation of my Feb Fair Diary. Been busy. Duh. It's finished though. Naka-save nga lang sa PC. Anyway, I should be sleeping already coz I only have few hours left for sleep. Will be leaving around 3am so we'll be in Elbi in time for Erik's 7am class. But see, pasaway talaga ako eh. Am I to be blamed if my urge to blog often catches me in a wrong time? Wala lang. Biglang nangati ang hands ko to type.

Story. Went to SM kanina with Erik. We watched Jumper and bought gift wrappers for his uber-late-as-in-long-overdue Christmas gifts for my family. Antamad kasi niya umuwi sa kanila eh. By the way, ang astig lang ng Jumper, as in. You should check it out. As I was saying, we were at the mall kanina then as I was paying for the stuff we bought, I came across this stack of booklets and some scratch pads and I can't help but buy one of those kahit na wala naman akong pagagagamitan pa sa ngayon. What can I do... I'm used to buying small notebooks coz I make them my doodlepad and I've been doing that since I was in grade school. I have lotsa notebooks-slash-doodlepads full of stick figures kasi yun lang naman ang alam ko i-draw, names of my crushes, my wishlists, quotes from movies, my attempts on poetry, my things to do, my original essays-slash-composition, and the like. That's what keeps me awake every time my eyes feels heavy during classes. Though most of the time, talagang nasa mood lang ako magsulat. Hehe.

I can still remember when I was in highschool, nagkukunwari lang ako na nagnonotes kasi tamad ako mag-kopya from the blackboard. So what I do, I keep myself busy doodling on my doodlepad or on the back of my notebooks. And now, kahit my student days are already over, I still can't get rid of the habit. Maaksaya ako sa puno, I know. I have like more or less 10 notebooks na puno ng thoughts ko simula nung grade school ako up to now. And once in awhile, binabalik-balikan ko yung mga notebooks na yun and natatawa ako sa mga pinagsusulat ko. Ang sarap balikan ng mga memories. Diba? Nakikita ko yung pag-mature ko sa bawat notebook na napuno ko ng thoughts ko. It's pretty amazing, really.

Now, meron nanaman akong pupunuin. Dagdag nanaman sa koleksyon ko. Kaya tayo na't mag-doodle guys!

It's fun and it takes the bore out in 60 seconds. Toink!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

FebFair Diary: Day One (February 11)

Yesterday was the fair's first day. It was one hell of fun. Para kaming mga bata ng mga brods and sisses ko sa UPLB Street Jazz Dance Company kasi we had almost half of the field all to ourselves. We were there from 7pm to 12 midnight, just playing, cam whoring and goofing around. Yeah, it was really fun. Muntik na kaming magkaron ng cancer sa lalamunan.

I remembered last Friday when I was thinking of not joining the lineup of the dancers for the production number for the fair. Then I realized that that will be my last dance in the fair as a member of the Competing Team. Needless to say, I danced and just made the most out of it. It was bitter-sweet. No regrets.

In that stretch of hours, I was able to really enjoy and not think of my problems. It was a relief.
Hakuna Matata!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

ang sarap lang mag-mura eh.

Timecheck. Kumusta naman at dilat pa rin ako. Naglalakihan na ang eye bags ko. Muntik lang naman akong malasin... muntik lang. Hay.

Was bloghopping while creating a backup of all my files here. My brother instructed me to transfer the backup files to my Creative Zen Vision W, which I did or should I say, am still doing because the friggin' player's battery died. I was already more than halfway to transferring everything when it suddenly stopped. Arg. Kumusta naman talaga yun diba? Badtrip yung player ko eh, kagigil lang.

For the first time in a loooong while, I unhappily vegetated in front of my PC.

paying it forward... =]

Click to show the message

Saturday, February 9, 2008

..on LRT and discomfort

For reasons I can't explain, every time na dadaan ako sa pseudo-gate ng LRT, the one na may machine kung saan ini-insert ung electronic card, kinakabahan ako. I'm really not sure why. It's the kind of discomfort brought about by thinking na baka hindi gumana yung card and all at hindi ako makadaan, which is totally nonsense and childish. Ano naman kasi kung hindi gumana if ever, diba? When that happens naman, dun pinapadaan sa gate sa may tabi yung passenger. But I still can't help it. Hehe. I don't really know why I always get that kind of feeling every time na ii-insert ko na yung card.

Oh well, kanya-kanyang depekto lang yan eh.

Friday, February 8, 2008

kewl fire fighting strategy

And because next month is Fire Prevention Month, I remembered coming across one of the coolest safety precaution against fire while we were at Don Bosco, Canlubang last Saturday. We were invited to participate as a guest performer in their school fair so while waiting for our part in the program, we decided to snoop around. Hence this discovery. Any violent reactions, you might as well keep it to yourself. Blog ko to. Pag sinabi kong ito ang by far, one of the coolest, yun yon. Walang basagan ng trip. Intiendes? :D

Here it is... TADDAHHHH!!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

me? fast typer? *wink

I was blog hopping when I came across this thing. Can it be more obvious that I'm pretty intrigued with how fast I can type? Here's the result.

53 words

free Touch typing

pebrero sais.

Yesterday was a chaotic day that looked initially boring. It wasn't that interesting either. In fact, I didn't really like how it went... at all. I attended the mass and had my forehead marked with ash. Only to accidentally wash it away coz my face feels so oily right after I went home. That was it for the ash wednesday thingy. As for the Chinese New Year, oh, it was a total bore. Remember I mentioned that I'm sure we'd be doing the default (the paisin)? I was right and that was all we did. The oldies (my mom and her brothers and sisters including poh-poh, my lola) need to go somewhere in San Juan to visit our full-blood Chinese relatives. So even though we opt to celebrate, the celebration was not until today, which was great enough to ruin my schedule. I was pissed but I managed to somehow keep my cool.

So there I said it that my schedule was ruined, right? Things sucked enough to also ruin our 50th Golden Monthsary. Remember, the supposedly "one of the most memorable celebrations' that we'll have? It was indeed memorable. Because it was yesterday that we had our biggest fight. It was really intense. We were able to patch things up moments after, though. Point is, things have already been said and we already hurt each others feelings, BIG TIME. The day wasn't a bore after all and it wasn't good either.

Once again, everything was messed up. Sad to say but that was the highlight of my Feb 6.

on Ash Wednesday..

Father, as in the priest, was 30 minutes late for the mass. While waiting, I watched as my mentally challenged admirer kept clanging the bell to let the whole village know that the mass will soon start. When almost all the homeowners were already there, starting to get bored, it looked as though the bell was clanging for father, the priest. Then finally, he arrived.

It's Ash Wednesday so I'm pretty sure that the homily would be about it. And when it came to that part of the mass, I made sure that I'm all eyes and ears on father. Finally, in my almost 22 years of existence, I finally had a clear idea of what Ash Wednesday is all about. According to father, Ash Wednesday is the first day of the Catholic's 40 days of fasting and abstinence. Yun daw yung simula ng 40 days na pagbabalik loob kay Papa God. So parang Ramadan din pala yung concept, only that, it's more lenient. Congratulations to me. *Lol.

One more thing I know about Ash Wednesday that I wasn't able
to mention in my previous post is that, it's like the day for the vegetables and seafoods because there's no meat allowed. Korny!

I still have some things to share about today but my eyes are already heavy so I'd just talk about it some other time... hopefully, tomorrow. The gist is, I thought the day (Feb 6) would be a bore but it turned out to be otherwise. Imma tell about it next time.

Have you seen my bed?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

On thesis, problems, and disappointments...

Had "the" talk with my mom again. No changes. I still went blank the moment she popped the biggest question of my life. Argh. I'm working on my plans now unlike the first time, though. Things are still hazy for me right now. My life's much like a hair that sucks big time - full of tangles. So many dead ends. I'm beginning to be hard on myself even though I know it wouldn't help me at all. I'm only one step away to the very end of all these chaos in my life but I can't seem to move. I'm stuck. Can it be more obvious? It's so friggin' frustrating.

My state of mind right now suggests that "if ever" someone coincidentally asks me of what I'm good at, my first answer should be screwing up. I'm already 21 and will soon be 22 in months time but I can't seem to handle things like these the way an adult should. I always end up screwing. Can I not screw up, for a change? Seriously.

I'm so stressed out. I've got so many things to do... so many things to deal with... and all those are pushing me to the very edge of my limits. I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. What's worse is that, it's not the fragility of the thread that worries me . It's my utmost want to give up. I'm sooooo tired.

After all the contemplation that I did, I managed to strategize my way out of all these bullshit but whenever I am that close to escaping, something always... as in always happens. It's like everything I try to do to fix my fucked up life is doomed to fail. I don't really know what's up. I'm beginning to think that I'm cursed though I'm really not a believer of urban legends. Is this all happening to me because of a chain text message or a mantra of that kind that I purposely deleted from my inbox without even reading? I'm right now in search of the answers and explanations for everything that has been going on.

Now, there are people in my life who's looking down on me as if I screwed everything up in purpose. They pity me. They talk about me with their colleagues. They formulate their own assumptions and fabricate their own story of my life. In short, they judge me. And it hurts and sucks big time.

I know I'm strong and I can still be stronger. This is probably just like one of those moments in the movies where the lead actors are soooo down and are on the verge of giving up. But something will happen that will make the lead actor say "Hey, God is a machine!" Deuz ex machina. All I have to do is wait for that something and make it happen. There will be no need to save me because I know that He put me into this because He knows that I can pull it off.

I know in God's name, I'll get by.

imma chinese gurl with a twist *wink

Okay. After changing my blog's url from sweetswitch to mysushidiet and then followed by my post about the chinese new year, it occurred to me that I've a bit of racial disloyalty with respect to delicacies. Hehe. My ancestors are chinese, which makes my maternal grandfather 75% Chinese and my mom 50%, therefore, I've 25% Chinese blood circulating in my body right now.

I'm Chinese but I'm not crazy about noodles and shanghai. And i soooooo loathe the taste of mantao. Sure I love siopao, siomai and century egg but if I were to choose between siomai and sushi, I'd go for sushi without second-guessing. My blog's name holds all the evidence you need. Take note, with smiley pa yun ha.

Hmmmm... let's just put it this way, I'm a Chinese girl who is a sucker for Japanese Cuisine. Sushi rocks!!


Today is no ordinary day, at least for me and some Chinese and Catholic people out there. Imagine three events-slash-celebrations coincidentally compressed in one day. Ironic as it is, in spite of this, I'm not sure about how the day will go. Haven't made any plans at all and I don't know if my mom did some of her own but one thing's for sure, there's no way I'd be missing the mass today. Hmmm.. my day sure sounds busy but I don't think it is after all for a couple of reasons.


I'm not sure if "celebration" is the appropriate term for this. It's a shame but i gotta admit, I'm not even sure what's it exactly. So I really can't tell whether or not it's a celebration or whateva. All I know is that to attend the (watch out for tongue twisters) mass is a must. Now it got me to thinking why all these years, I haven't thought of asking my mom about Ash Wednesday. Lemme try later.

Yes. It's already February according to the ever-reliable Gregorian Calendar but the Chinese community's new year is just about to begin. Oh well, what can I say, we (Chinese)
, love to deal with things on our own. Thus our own new year. Peace.

I have no idea on what our clan's plan for today or if there really is one. I don't recall my m
om discussing something about it to me, which is pretty unusual. The only thing I'm sure of is that we'd be sticking to the default - the paisin. It's like a ritual. We do it to honor our loved ones who already passed away.

This is the biggest celebration of the day, at least for me and for Erik. *smile

It's already been four long years and two months since we realized that God wants us to be together. 50 months sure sounds long but for Erik and I, it's not. We still have a long way to go and hopefully, a lifetime ahead of us. Fifty months is just a small fraction of the time we are destined to spend together.

Pardon me for being proud coz for this matter, I admit I am. Ang cute lang kasi na naisip namin yung concept of Golden Monthsary... parang Golden Wedding A
nniversary lang eh. It still hasn't sinked in to me yet that we were able to come up with such a cute concept. Ambabaw ko, I know. Nakakatuwa lang kasi.

Since we haven't recovered yet from our splurge-almost-all-our-ipon fourth
anniversary celebration, I'm not quite sure what will our Golden monthsary celebration be like. Hay nakooo kahit pa dvd marathon lang yan or kahit Nips at Cloud 9 lang ang foodang namin, I'm sure we can still make it a one heck of a celebration. Ipupusta ko buhay ko... this would be one of our most memorable and happiest celebrations.

Improv Everywhere is sick. lolz.

I came across this video in YouTube a number of times. I thought this was just some lame clip not until I have read the video description. So it finally caught my attention enough to take a peek. This is so cooool. Imagine what if this happens in MRT or LRT? That would be a total laugh trip.

happily busy

been dressing up my page since last night. and i think my time's all worth it coz i soooo love my page's new look. it looks more alive and inviting unlike my previous theme, which is so emo. i've tried my best to make my space as interactive as possible by putting a cbox (finally). you know what's cbox for, right? sooo, tag me with love. jologs naman kung puro ako lang laman ng cbox ko. yey, finally.. the headaches and numb fingertips paid off... i guess. hopefully, i'd be dressing up my page soon with my own blogger theme.

hakuna matata!!

dilemma attacked me. hmpf.

help me decide..
pursue a master's degree?
take up another BS degree course?
take up a short course about multimedia arts?
find a job?
continue managing our own business?
pollcode.com free polls

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

so long crushie crush.

"...the moment that i let you go, i just broke down." --- goin' crazy

wala lang. up to now, it still hasn't sinked in to me yet. i still can't believe that heath ledger's already dead. sumalangit nawa. sheesh. i've always considered him as one of the hottest actors in hollywood. sayang. for the longest time, he was a part of my five hottest men on earth... not that it matters but those stupid sleeping pills.. arg. they got him automatically expelled from my list. five hottest men "on earth" kasi eh. ewe. korny.

so i guess, there would be just four in my list from now on because heath is simply irreplaceable.

Monday, February 4, 2008

saw someone i knew from high school in monumento. i pretended that i didn't notice her though we were just a foot apart since she was standing right beside me. lucky me, she wasn't looking when i saw her. so i kept myself busy... checked my phone almost thrice in every minute.. looking towards the opposite side.. reading veronika decides to die while waiting for the jeep. not that i'm a snob or something... i'm just not in the mood for an actual kumustahan conversation because i'm so tired and exhausted.

cut the crap.

okay. i admit. i avoided the conversation partly because i know that the update-one-another-talk will eventually lead us to asking one another "saan ka nagwowork?", "ano work mo?" and the like. default na kaya yun.. something to start the conversation with someone who you haven't seen for a long time. haller. as if merong published na conversation guide wherein isa yun sa mga well-recommended ways to start the conversation. hay. susmariosep. i already have lotsa people asking me that and i think i've had enough. and honestly, i don't wanna talk about it until i have something decent to share. yun yon eh. tsssss.

long day.