Right click. Open in new tab. Read. Repeat.

My birthday is fast approaching - 26 days to go, to be exact. Last year, I promised myself that I will celebrate my birthday anywhere but in the Philippines, for a change. Hence, I dedicate every bit  of my free time on reading various travel blogs to educate myself on different travel tips, travel hacks, efficient spending, travel routes, and whatnot. I am really learning a lot but apart from learning, the "traveler-wanna-be" inside of me is getting giddy more and more as I keep on reading on others' adventures. I am beginning to think whether or not this is my calling. OA.

I am amused by the stories of successful full-time travel bloggers. How I wish I am brave enough to do what they did - left their job and traveled the world. Most of them make a living by maintaining their travel blogs. How I wish I can do that. Someday, maybe?

My blog banner says it all. I am a sporadic writer. So how am I suppose to make a living out of this? Not to mention the fact that I only write a lot when I am depressed or sad. Not unless I can make money by writing about my frustrations in life, heartbreaks, and everything else that I always write about. How would I sell my sadness? Who would want to buy or invest on something melodramatic? Seriously? Although now, I am trying to write as often as I can and I am trying my best to shy away from being melodramatic. Law of attraction. Law of attraction. I always remind myself about this.

Wish me luck and make it appear convincing as if you really care. Ktnxbye.

A minor epiphany: Win-win Situation

You gotta be thankful for meeting shitty people, really. Why? Because it's through them that we get to see who the really good ones are. Being with shitty people makes you appreciate the ones who were actually genuinely good.

Meeting the wrong ones make you feel more excited in meeting the right one. Or maybe, I already met him? *pabebe smile*

Blog Makeover

I want to change this blog into something that is more worthy of (y)our time.

How? I'm thinking of trying to post less about the dramas of my life and instead, write about my travel experiences, food  and movie reviews, and other random things that interest me. 

Why? Well, let's just say, I just don't want any more drama in my life. Not that I can totally avoid it but at least I can write less and less about it until it'll be no longer worth writing about. 

I want to focus more on the good things that happen to me no matter how random they are. Maybe if I become successful in doing so then I might actually develop a higher tolerance for all the dramas, negativity, and the "almost-day-to-day" emo shitshits I encounter.

Law of attraction, eh! Let's see how this one will work. Can't feel more intrigued, really.
And I shall begin in 3... 2... 1. *fingers crossed*

Done with the BS.

It was a long hard-fought self battle. It was toxic and stressful in so many ways. I still don't know what kept me on it and I thought discovering it is a prerequisite before I win over this one. Basic problem solving procedure: Identify the problem so you can provide the solution to it, right? Turns out, in my case, it isn't.

Thing is, I don't give up on people easily. I have tons of faith that everyone can change hence, everyone deserves a chance. But once I lose that faith, that's it. It will take more than effort to convince me to take someone back. Actually, most of the time, there's nothing that can be done anymore. Once I get tired of the stupidities, martyrdom, exerting effort to understand the things that hurt me, trying to accept things that is waaaaaay less than what I always knew in my heart that I deserve, I'll leave just like that. And believe me, the person will not ask why. He will not ask why because he knows. HE SHOULD KNOW.

To be honest, there's nothing more rewarding than a moment like this... the moment when you finally realize that it isn't going to work and that trying to fix things will only be pointless. It is at moments like this that I am no longer vulnerable hence, the person automatically loses whatever power he has over me since the beginning. All of a sudden I am free from stress and negative thoughts. No more toxicity, just pure self-love. It is at times like this that I become the happiest because even though I got hurt, at least I know I tried.

Okay, I'll admit to being stubborn as to why I let things like this happen to me, why I expose myself to so much pain, why I keep trying to understand others and why I always accept their shortcomings when I always knew that I will get tired and give up eventually. Well, let's just say, I am still hopeful. Yes, odd as it may seem, I still am even after every failed relationship I've been in.

I am still hopeful that someday, someone will see my worth before I give up... that despite his imperfection, he will try to be his best self for me instead of using it as a lame excuse for his shortcomings. I am still hopeful that in spite of my willingness to expose myself to pain, he will not hurt me or at least, won't do it intentionally. I am hopeful, still hopeful, that someday, somewhere, there is that one person who will love me the way I always deserve to be loved. I am hopeful that soon, I will find him or maybe, just maybe... One of these days, he will finally find me.

Patience and faith, Zen. Patience and faith.