midnight feels

There are still some days when I wake up to the feeling of brokenness and sadness. During these days, I automatically give in to the sad thoughts that seemed to have found its way to the surface during my sleep. During these days, I still harbor the same questions that I asked myself back when you told me to fight for you.

There are days when I just want to stop thinking about you, to just give up loving you, and to stop waiting... But I guess it is true what they said that the heart wants what it wants. This heart wants what it wants and this heart still wants you. And as much as I no longer want to hope, a part of me is still holding on to the slight piece of thought that maybe, just maybe, yours still wants me too.

Right now, I just try to get my mind off things by spending time with friends, writing, reading, doodling, dancing, archery, binge-watching TVD on Netflix, and a whole lot of other activities. I hope that the fact that I have not been crying as often as I do before is an indication that what I am doing is effective. I cannot be more thankful for having such great friends who make me feel loved and cared for. I am thankful that God has surrounded me with people and opportunities that reminds me of His love and presence. Because of all these, my purple heart still manages to smile. I may have lost you but I still have lots of reasons to smile and to be thankful for.

If there's anything good that came out of this fiasco, it's the fact that my relationship with God has grown significantly stronger. It is His words and my prayers that are really helping me through everything. Through the power of prayers, I believe that, little by little, I am getting better despite the occasional bad days. There are less sleepless nights and less tears. I am also slowly getting my appetite back and even though it would mean gaining all the weight I've lost, I think that's still good.

My faith is bigger and stronger than my pain. With God by my side, there is nothing that I won't be able to face. I am saved.

thank GOD

i kinda knew it. it always go that way. when a part of my life is already okay, another part would start getting crappy.

the past days, i was really happy because i finally landed a job on my top most prioritized company but last night, the tables started to turn (once again). my brother met an accident. he was bumped by a car while he was waiting for a jeepney. good thing the driver did not attempt to leave him. he was brought to the hospital and was taken cared of. thank God he doesn't have any serious injury. he stayed in the hospital for a series of observations, tests, x-rays and etc. the findings were normal. so we were able to go home already.

i don't know. i still can't get over the fact that he met an accident... that for that moment, his life was somewhat in danger. thank God nothing worse has happened to him.

"people leave you when you need them the most."

oh happy day!

Yeah. This day rocked.

If you have read my previous entry, I mentioned there that I was feeling really positive about my application at Meralco. And yes, I was right. I did get in. I'll be assigned at Valenzuela Branch, which is a really, really good thing coz that would mean lower transportation cost for me.

Thank God that I got in. My uncle told me that the panel interview was just a formality, that whoever qualifies for the panel interview already has a sure slot in the company. But sad to say, two of my schoolmates didn't get in. I feel sad for them. And of course, really happy for me. Life's beautiful, after all.

And tonight, imma celebrate this victory with my barkada. Though medyo may tampo ako sa isa sa kanila, keri lang. This is still a happy day.

I ♥ today! Kasama na ako sa labor force ng Pilipinas... soon!