way too much.

I'm still wide awake, staring at a monitor that cannot talk to me. I used to like spending time alone but I sorta feel anxious right now. Prolly because I've been spending WAY TOO MUCH time alone lately (?). I don't know.

What's going on with me?

bad omen.

...I just noticed that these past few days, nothing seemed to work for me. When one part of my life becomes smooth sailing, the other parts would start messing up. It's so, soooooo frustrating. And it's weird.

..on frenchkissing and kids

Had a looooong day. Woke up around 8am to get ready coz we're going to watch ASAP '08 live on abscbn. *i'll share about the details on a separate entry. After the show, we ate our lunch-slash-merienda coz it was already 4pm na ata.Then we went straight to church to attend the Sunday mass.

No offense meant but I wasn't really happy when I saw that the priest that will be holding the mass is the priest who's known to talk a lot on his homily, sharing five different long stories that aims to stress only one point. So when he was on his third story already, I was feeling kinda boring and a bit sleepy na. I was really on the verge of surrendering myself to the call of sleep when I saw something that shooed my sleepiness away. There were three kids sitting in front of us, two boys and one girl. I think mga four to five years old lang yung isang boy then the other one is around 6. Tapos yung girl naman is around five siguro.

Typical kids... makulit sa mass and not listening. They were teasing each other. The younger boy and the girl versus the older boy... So okay lang naman. But I was shocked sa mga sumunod kong nakita. The younger guy and the girl kissed in the lips, which is fine. Okay lang yun... they are kids, what do they know about such things, right? They kissed for siguro mga three times. Then after that, nilabas ni younger boy yung tongue niya while naka-nguso then ito namang si young girl did the same thing then they kissed. AS in!!! Kumusta naman yun diba? Ang sakit sa bangs, hay! I was totally distracted with what I saw. Yung parents/guardian nung kids, walang kaalam-alams a ginagawa nung mga bata coz we were praying, nakaluhod ang mga tao nun. The kids kept doing that for several times. As in yung buong row namin, na-distract and sa kanila nakatingin. Susmariosep.

Kung anuano siguro nakikita or napapanood ng mga batang yun. Sabi nga, ang ginagawa ng matanda, nagiging tama sa mata ng bata. Haggard.

wanted: " o r i g i n a l i t y "

"Lemme" start this with "gaya gaya puto-maya, paglaki buwaya!!" Hoho! Wala lang. I'm really not a fan of idolizing someone to the point that you start to imitate the person in whatever friggin' way. I don't know why. Ayoko talaga sa mga taong gaya-gaya, especially if ako yung ginagaya. Sure some would say na nagfifeeling lang ako but I'd love to disagree with that. Hehe, antaray lang eh. Let's just say, I have my basis and I can prove it. And besides, it's easy to see if a person's imitating you, your style, or whatever. It's really flattering and annoying all at the same breath, at least for me.

I came across this blog kasi and I noticed na his/her style of writing changed. Bigla naging kaparehas ng sa akin, kumusta naman yun diba? Yes it's flattering but like I said, I also find it annoying. On a personal note, ang tingin ko sa mga taong gumagaya ay "parasite". They let others find their own style or think of their own crap then pag magustuhan nila, they'd adapt it and make it appear as if it's their original stuff. Duh.

In fairness naman din, I'll admit that my style (in general) isn't all original in the sense na hindi ko yun na-derive from scratch. Pero hindi ko rin naman siya ginaya. If there's one thing I really enjoy doing, it's people-watching. Then from there, I let the people around me influence me.. yun, pero hindi yung gagayahin ko sila. You mix their style with your own, parang ganun. You create your own hybrid.

Para lang yan sa dance eh, you do your own choreography. Copying other's choreo and publicizing it as if it was your own is a big no-no. Biters ang tawag dun and sa dance community, they don't get any respect irregardless of how good they are. Sabi nga ng isang choreographer, Be the extension of the vision and not of the choreography... basta something like that.

Life nga naman. I didn't think na pati sa pagsusulat, may pamba-BITE din na nangyayari. Anyway, to sum this up, I hate parasites who benefit from other's creative juices. Di naman obvious noh?

..on LRT and discomfort

For reasons I can't explain, every time na dadaan ako sa pseudo-gate ng LRT, the one na may machine kung saan ini-insert ung electronic card, kinakabahan ako. I'm really not sure why. It's the kind of discomfort brought about by thinking na baka hindi gumana yung card and all at hindi ako makadaan, which is totally nonsense and childish. Ano naman kasi kung hindi gumana if ever, diba? When that happens naman, dun pinapadaan sa gate sa may tabi yung passenger. But I still can't help it. Hehe. I don't really know why I always get that kind of feeling every time na ii-insert ko na yung card.

Oh well, kanya-kanyang depekto lang yan eh.

5335

just got home.

alright this is really creepy. another creepy-freaky coincidence. i was in the office kanina helping mom out with some of her work then we got this phone call. the call was received by tita milan so we just continued doing what we're doing and didn't pay any attention at all. not until tita milan's tone changed and began asking the caller "san niyo nadali?" "nagulungan ba?" "saan dinala?" "nakakulong ba si _________?" and et cetera. after hearing those questions we were like "uyy sino yun? anong meron?" call ends. tita milan told us that it was one of our conductors reporting an accident. unfortunately an old lady was hit by bus 5335 and was brought to the hospital. and the driver? he's in jail.

now here's why it got creepy. few years back, one of our bus units with the same bus number also got involved in an accident resulting to the amputation of the victim's leg. DISCLAIMER: the amputation was needed because the victim was diabetic. it wasn't because super grabe yung accident.and months after that, it got involved again in another accident. point is, it was always the bus with that number, 5335. i don't know if it's just an innocent coincidence or if these accidents were trying to send us some kind of a message. there's no way of knowing, right? so we just decided right then and there to change the bus number and not use 5335 in any of our units anymore. *goosebumps

oooooooh.

countdown.

six days to go before Christmas and i'm still not done shopping. hmmmm.. not that i'm broke, though i partially am. it's just that i'm having a pretty hard time thinking of what to give to my few chosen friends. my mind's cluttered with nothing but cheezy and expensive ideas. in short, fantasy. i already have a gift for mom and dad so that's two down and lots to go.

change topic. six days na lang pasko na but i'm still not feeling it. i don't want to sound cynical or something (because i have no reason to be) but that's the truth. i still can't feel the spirit of the holidays, unlike before. maybe it's because of the weather? or maybe because i'm preoccupied lately. coz i had a very, very crazy week. ooooh spirit of the holidays, nandyan ka na ba? *korni. obviously, i'm waiting for the spirit of the holidays to come to me.. or should i look for it? i want to feel the excitement, that tingling feeling when i attend the simbang gabi or when i buy putubumbong.

spirit of christmas, where art thou?
i'm waiting. come to me.

an encounter with an ex

Few minutes ago, an ex of mine, who also happens to be one of my kabarkadas, IM'd me in ym. He just said hi and we talked for like ten minutes and then said our goodnights-slash-goodmornings. To be honest, I was kinda shock that he IM'd me. Para kasi yung nakaka-loko, pasumpong-sumpong. Minsan bigla ang friendly and minsan naman parang umiiwas. And kanina, he was friendly. Hmmm.. Actually, I already knew that he's also online, I just didn't feel like talking to anyone kaya I ignored whoever was online on my ym list. And like I said, sala sa init-sala sa lamig kasi un kaya I really didn't take the initiative to start a conversation.

I just don't get it why he's like that. It just feels awkward coz I really feel na there really are times na iniiwasan niya ako. Haller. Ang tagal na since we broke up pero up to now may ganitong awkward moments parin lalo na pag magkasama kami sa lakad ng barkada. Nakadalawang gf na nga siya after me eh. Haller (again). He was the one who left me way, way back tapos siya pa yung parang nagiging aloof? Pambihira. It's getting kinda funny actually kasi ang weird diba? Pero I know na factor yung gf niya kasi selosa lalo na sa mga ex ni ex ko. Alam ko kasi ex's gf texted me dati and befriended me. Ex's gf was honest enough to tell me that she still feels jealous towards me. So I explained why she should not feel that way at all. At mukhang naging okay naman na after that kasi naging textmates pa kami ni ex's gf.

That's why I get weirded up by ex's actions and treatment to me. Weird for me kasi ako as in, super okay lang. No uneasiness at all when he's around kasi wala na sakin un. Not that I'm saying na may something pa rin siya kaya siya umiiwas and stuff... hindi ganun. What I'm trying to point out is ang tagal na nun kaya hindi na un issue pa dapat lalo na with our respective relationships kasi super tagal na nun, my gaaad. He's my friend and having a bitter past doesn't mean we can never go back to being really friends, at least for me.

Weird.