This is me, the raw me. The me that's been hiding all these years. For the first time, I don't feel scared of writing what I want. But as much as I want to write every feeling, every thought as long as this courage lasts I don't think I can do that. It's just not possible for someone like me because I know myself too well. I know perfectly that I will regret it later on if I do that.

But this, I wanna share to those who care and to those who don't. I have a lot going on in my life right now. I am so stressed with my work, my family issues, my health problem, and other personal stuff. Desperately, I am hoping that I will wake up one day and realize that all the problems have gone away. But those kind of stuff only happen in books and I am in no fairy tale. No fairy godmother to offer me wishes. No prince charming or knight in shining armor to come to my rescue. No magic carpet to take me away. This is real life where most things don't come easy.

No matter how hopeless things may seem, I still hope. No matter how broken my heart gets every time I fall, it still beats anyway. No matter how distressed I am by love, I still choose to open up my heart. No matter how down life puts me, I still choose to rise up and live every moment - good or bad. I still choose to live.

I don't understand why when I was living an almost perfect life, I longed for balance between happiness and sadness. And now that I am living the ideal normal life I suddenly feel weak and discouraged. I don't understand why it took me this long to finally recognize that I already have what I have longed for in the past years. Well, life only does what it does best. It always surprise you... never fails.

With this, I'd like to quote a character from How I Met Your Mother, "I think I forgot how it feels like to chase the real thing. I think I'm ready again."