First Love Never Dies

Sometimes, you realize something and it breaks your heart.

Okay. I miss dancing. I still want to dance. I want to come back. But the more that I want it... the harder it is to reach. The feeling is like entering a place you know by heart only to find out that nothing there is familiar anymore. I guess I've been gone for so long. I don't know where and how to pick up. I always believed that if I really want it, I'll find a way to go back. But then, I realized that it's not always the case. Wanting something so bad doesn't mean you'll get it. Not possible especially if you're not willing to make a sacrifice. You cannot serve two masters at the same time.

I tried to find a tangent between dancing and my professional career but it is just so hard. I don't think I can meet the level of commitment that dancing is going to require from me if I ever decide to go back. And it's not like I can sacrifice my career for dancing. Reality check. I am not as good as others. There's no bright future waiting for me in dance. And I need something stable. I need a fallback.

For now, I will just keep my faith that my decisions will bring me to the right path. I am not losing hope because my love for dance will never end. No matter what happens, it will always be what it has always been to me - my first love.