Missing.

Haven't written for two days. Not that it sucks because what really does is the fact that nothing has changed. Same pain. Same sentiments. Same regrets. Same old shit. 

Today tho, I decided to fill myself and my day with positivity. I posted an fb status just so I can force myself to be okay. I wish it was that easy. I'm still not okay but today at least, I'm more productive. I hope in the coming days things will get better. I hope that I will get and feel better. I want to be better.

After 5pm, I'm going home. Not to sulk but to plan a vacation. No, I'm not running away. I just need to breathe. I need fresh air. New surroundings. Even for just a couple of days. I want to be alone with this pain. I want to ponder. I want to drown and be saved from this emotional quicksand. 

I miss my old crazy self. I miss me.