throwback thursday

I'm trying to look back to my childhood, when everything was so simple, when getting good grades was all that mattered, when the most painful thing I experienced were the wounds I got from horseplaying with friends. I am looking back to the times when the only thing I thought of was myself. 

I'm trying to look back to the times when we were nothing but happy and sweet, when everything was so placid and seemed promising. I am looking back to those days. I want to go back to those days. I want to go back to the time when  everything between us was so simple. I want to. Only if I can but I can't. 

So here's to going back to the memories of us, the memories of a thing that was... the traces of a garden that was once beautiful. The memories of you. My memories of you.

Here's a throwback to the time when we were happy together. A throwback to the time when you said you will never be gone. A throwback to the time you kissed me. A throwback to the time you hugged me. A throwback to the time you held me. A throwback to the first time you touched my cheek. A throwback to the time you  planned beautiful things for us. A throwback to the time I started falling. A throwback to something that's still happening. Because I'm still falling. Free falling. Helplessly falling. And I know, I will never hit the ground.

So here's a final throwback to the time that I was full of high hopes. A final throwback to the time I was still sane.  A final throwback to the time I decided to stop chasing you, which was now.

This, now, is really nothing but a throwback. All because it's fucking Thursday. I hate Thursdays.