Of wondering and make believe

I always wonder how would you feel when you read all my entries about you... All my pain about you. What would you think of me? Emotionally crazy at 30, perhaps? A psycho? An emo? Or would I even matter?

I always wonder if you'll feel the pain in my every word. I wonder if you'll feel the pain that I carry with me everyday. I wonder if you'll feel my pain? I wonder if you still feel me. 

In a far-fetched world, I will be holding you. I will never have to cry because I will never have to let you go. We will back to our normal happy selves and will choose to be together all the time. We'll visit museums and parks or just sit on a couch and be lazy like pandas all day. In a far-fetched world, I will be with you. In a far-fetched world, you will be with me. In a far-fetched world, where we no longer have to ask hypothetical questions, we will be laughing endlessly and just be happy. In a far-fetched world away from all these pain, I will not have to write this because you will be beside me and I will be watching you in awe as you tell your stories. In a far-fetched world, I am beside you and I am happy.