I haven't read any book for months now.
I no longer dance.
I do not even browse YouTube anymore.
I stopped blogging.
I stopped writing notes/letters.
I stopped collecting Zebra-printed things.
I'm not as excited as I used to be anymore about Purple stuff.
I no longer collect iPhone cases.


You lose something everytime you change. And this time, I lost a lot.
I lost myself.

Have you seen it?

Can't get enough of G1BO.

I can't help but be amazed on how Gibo addresses the questions thrown to him. I just want to share his answer when asked by Sionil Jose of Philippine Star about his vision of the country.

I want to see a Philippines that is peaceful, has strong institutions of governance, has modern infrastructure, has food security, is technologically and educationally advanced, with a people who have the capacity to make rational decisions for themselves, true freedom of thought and of expression, a power in Southeast Asia and perhaps the Asia-Pacific, ecologically rich and diverse, in short a country where our people would want to remain.

I can almost taste hope while reading his answers. To relate, read on Sionil Jose's Interview with Gibo Teodoro. He is the perfect man for the post. I do hope he wins because it is our nation's loss if he doesn't.

walking away.

So many things have been said about walking away and not looking back anymore. I don't know if I can do this or IF I ever want to do it. Life, oh life.

Maybe, life, at some point, will really test us. It will try to see how far we are willing to go; how much are we willing to risk; and how big the steps we are willing to make towards this one thing we've always wanted and hoped for. And now I'm in that position, I think. Constantly, I've been asking if going for what you want really have to entail walking away from something you didn't want to leave at all. What's more odd in my case, there really is no decision to make because this is not my call.

It's not like I can just walkaway from something I've worked so hard for. That is not an option. I have worked my *ss out for this one and I know in my heart it is about time that I get what I deserve. It's just that the fact that I have to leave something behind has somewhat extinguished that rewarding feeling that I'm finally just few steps away from the prize. Yes, I feel sad. I feel sad, excited, fulfilled all in one breath. Crazy!!

Well, it's not like I'm left with a choice. I will inevitably deal with this.
One week to go and I say, BRING IT ON, b*tch!

my books said they miss me already.

Alright, I admit that I have been spending almost all of my free time vegetating in front of the computer. Thus, I no longer have the time to do the things that I usually love to do, like reading. When was the last time I bought a book or even a magazine? I can't even remember when was the last time I actually spent enough time to read a newspaper from cover to cover. I really can't remember. i guess, that's how long it was. It's so not me. I can almost qualify in being called a bookworm because I used to love reading so much. I used to have sleepless nights because I can't put my books down. That's how addicted I was to reading. But some things really do change I guess. I changed.

I know it sounds stupid but I feel guilty everytime I look at my books. It's as if, "Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila." If they can talk, they would probably say they have been feeling ultimately jealous of my computer. Haha. That's why, I want to try to revert to my old ways - spending more time with my books and less time with my computer.

Kaya ko kaya?
Separation anxiety, please don't get in my way.

Rainy Days of Summer.

I'm surprisingly loving it. Siguro kasi wala akong lakad na naapektuhan ng ulan. Wala akong plans na naaabala dahil sa drastic change ng weather. Loser lang. Buti na lang may company outing, at least may 2 sure na outing na ako this summer, haha. Also, I'm loving it dahil konti ang customers sa office. Haha. Oh and because I can now use my cutesy comforter! Oha!

Bakit nga ba biglang naging maulan?
May bagyo ba? :)

moving according to plan =)

I planned on cutting my nails last week and yesterday, I did it. It is now back to its 'pudpod' look. Idk. I missed it. Its been like over a year since the last time I've had it short. And I feel like I want something new. Well, it's not new-new reallybut it gave me the similar feeling so I just settled on that.

Also, I had my hair trimmed yesterday but it's weird coz I think it looked longer instead. haha. Nevertheless, I'm happy coz I was finally able to spend my day as planned. Now that's another one. Cheers!

It was more of a miracle that I woke up feeling not too lazy to go somewhere kinda far like Trinoma. It's just 40 to 45 minutes away though (thanks to NLEX). Usually, I plan on going out to spend some ME-time at some place like Trinoma, Shang, or GB but because of laziness, will end up at some place 15 minutes away from home like SM. So yesterday was outstanding just because of that.

My day went as planned. I was able to cross out lots of things from my "to buy" list. So the 92% has now become 97%. Weeee! The last piece that will turn my room makeover to a room madeover is the dresser. I thought of buying it at OurHome but gaaaaad, it's too expensive. Plus, I didn't find anything close enough to how I want my dresser to be. I want something not spacious, without a mirror, and functional in terms of the drawers and storage. Since I've gone tired of storehopping and mall hopping in search for the perfect dresser, I decided to just draw the design and find someone who can create magic and turn the drawing into something really tangible. It'll be less expensive and best of all, it's customized. I just have to wait until the weekend for the construction. I didn't really want to wait anymore but hey, patience is a virtue.

The carpenter better be good; otherwise, I'll be doomed! :p

92%

Hephep? Hurray!!

Malapit na! Lapit na matapos ang aking room makeover - my post birthday gift to myself. :D Chyeah! I just have to buy a few more stuff then it's all set. Kung magagawa ko lahat ng plano ko for tomorrow, tomorrow night ay pwede na ako matulog sa room ko. Gusto ko kasi pag matulog ako dun, tapos na ung maekover. Made over na at hindi na makeover :D

Wish me luck!
Happy!

Room Makeover, Almost Over

Yay... malapit-lapit na matapos yung room makeover ko. Inaayos ko na lang ung mga gamit and meron na lang mga dapat pang bilhin. My room makeover was supposed to be a birthday gift for myself kaya lang di na umabot. So post-birthday gift na lang. :D I'm really excited.

Magastos but it's all worth it.
Green. Purple. Brown.
Haylavet!!!
Wooh!

when people start changing...

Have been M-I-A for awhile here. Well, let's just say that I got a lot going on with my life - with my health to be exact. And because I missed blogging, I have been thinking of what to write about when I suddenly bumped on my 'cbox'. Then there I saw my superfriend's message about her new url. And from dramaqueen-andeng, it's now dreagazette. I just can't stop smiling after reading her message.. =)

Di ko pa sha nakakausap about this but based on her blog site, she's no longer a drama queen... I am just so happy for her because all those years, since I cannot even remember when, she has been carrying a lot in her heart. Finally, her heart gets to have some rest and peace from all the dramas and other excess bagaages she carried around all those years.


When people start changing for the better, IT IS VERY INSPIRING.


Cheers to the good life!!
You Go Girl!! Payt Payt Payt!!

happily busy

been dressing up my page since last night. and i think my time's all worth it coz i soooo love my page's new look. it looks more alive and inviting unlike my previous theme, which is so emo. i've tried my best to make my space as interactive as possible by putting a cbox (finally). you know what's cbox for, right? sooo, tag me with love. jologs naman kung puro ako lang laman ng cbox ko. yey, finally.. the headaches and numb fingertips paid off... i guess. hopefully, i'd be dressing up my page soon with my own blogger theme.

hakuna matata!!

shaping up

been down lately. done some thinking and i finally admitted to myself that i'm totally screwed up. my life's a mess and has no direction. sure i have goals and that was what i always thought mattered. and i'm so stupid to even think that achieving my goals will be just as easy as having one... you know, crossing the bridge when you get there. i always thought it will dictate how i should live my life and which path to take but i'm wrong. totally wrong.

now, i'm an unemployed-bum-parent-dependent person.. in short, a loser. ouch. i need to start learning how to stand on my own. i don't want to be like those people who i dislike for not being able to support themselves or at least try to be independent. but i'm afraid that is what's happening to me... i'm being the person that i don't like to be.

had a talk with my mom recently. she asked me about my plans, whether i'm planning to get a job or to pursue another field or a master's degree. then, there was an awkward moment of silence. what's worse is that, it wasn't because i can't seem to put into words my great plans. it was because there are no great plans... YET. and this uber disappointing fact made me feel as if i'm a part of a so-called social status, popularly known as the Losers. several jobs have been presenting itself to me but i turned my back on them for personal reasons. my life's still a mess and i just thought that it'd be better if i make my next move once i get into shape. i don't want to engage into something unprepared. so i took some time off to contemplate.

now, i gathered up my thoughts and managed to collect myself. my "life"-plan is still a work in progress but at least there's an improvement. just wish me luck and don't jinx me.

whew.

edit mode.

vague as it is, the title's that way for a couple of reasons. four days na lang 2008 na and i must say that i haven't been totally happy with myself this year. i screwed up some big things in my life and i did change both in a positive and a negative way. wasn't able to sleep at all two nights ago because i was contemplating and reflecting; busy comparing the way i am before 2007 came and now that it's about to end and i wasn't really happy with some of my realizations. and so i figured out that i really need to edit some of my ways. edit talaga ung term, hehe.

speaking of edit. i missed doing a lot of things, which i know, with all modesty aside, i'm good at like graphics and visual designs - editing pictures, in particular. i know myself. i have this tendency to rot on things that i suddenly don't do as often as before anymore. and even though i already am aware of this possibility, i still let myself stop on practicing my skill. yes i was busy but every time i have a free time, i chose to do other things and sadly, those other things are really not important at all. much as i hate to admit, i think my skill on graphics and visual designs is beginning to rot. to turn the table, i'm definitely including this in my new year's resolution.

in lieu to the previous paragraph, i also plan to dance again. i'd really make time for that. gaaad, ang taba ko na and even though i'm already aware of this, i can't stop eating. with someone with a big appetite and has no means to burn fats, what do you expect? i'm getting fatter every single day. dati 100 to 105lbs lang ako pero ngayon, tumataginting na 120lbs na ang weight ko. arg! soooper hirap pa naman mag-diet dahil sooooooper sarap kumain!

since i'm already finished reflecting and have finally identified what to change with my attitude, body and etc, i guess i'm now ready to write my resolutions for 2008. i'll do that later. and i really, really promise to myself that this time, i'll strictly abide with what's in that list.