Of weddings and punishments

She stopped talking to me. FB messages were seen but left unanswered like everything on it didn't matter AT ALL. Like every apology and bit of explanation meant nothing. Text messages were ignored like it was a scam or some random advisory from Globe. She would send stuff to our friends and would exclude me. She would like their posts but not mine. Heck, even her best friend who happens to be one of my best pals too seemed to be taking sides now, which is actually fine except that the side he chose was not mine. I am being punished for missing her wedding like it's something I did purposely. Like I missed it for something that's not important. Like I never wanted to go at all. 

She is unforgiving and it breaks my heart.

Of 15th of October Surprises, Frogs, and Friendships

This year’s 15^th of October was the longest and most dramatic Saturday that I can remember.

It was Froggy’s birthday. Being that he’s one of my closest pals, I know how he is. He loves setting up surprises for other people but he doesn’t want the same for himself. Weird, right? As a matter of fact, his senses and radar are extra sensitive every 15^th of October. His mindset is that it’s his turn to be surprised. Froggy loves spoiling surprises for him as much as he loves setting up surprises for others. Yes, that’s how he really is. 

Bottom line is, we were able to surprise him for two consecutive years already. As much as he would hate to admit it, he was surprised and indeed, touched. By the way, the party lasted overnight. Venue and other arrangements were taken cared of by Marvin Oriarte (mastermind). 

SURPRAAAAAAAYYYS!! 

Froggy’s party was more like a reunion more than it was a birthday party. Karlo, our long(figuratively) lost friend, decided to come over.  And as much as I would hate to admit it, I really missed the guy. It’s been almost a year since our misunderstanding happened and for me, that ship has already sailed. Time really heals wounds, I guess.

P.S. Thanks to Marvin Oriarte (mastermind) for letting us use Suede Room Studio as the venue.

Of Multi-tasking and Instagram

So what else is perfect for a lazy afternoon? Movie! and Chips! and Wifi! and Bed!

I really need to save up money in prep for my upcoming trips this last quarter of the year. So in accordance to this "so-effin-hard-to-achieve" goal (ehem ehem), I try to stay home as much as possible, like today. And here's what I realized: It's easier to stay at home and avoid getting bored (Thank you, Instagram) than to go out and avoid spending. I know, it's like stating the obvious and not that it's big of a deal, maybe I'm just trying to calm myself here. Hehe.

Too much of avoiding boredom, I am watching a movie, blogging, instagramming, and eating chips simultaneously. And I'm doing all these without sweat. I know, it's really not something I should be proud of. Someone out there or maybe you could do all these better or prolly can do even more. Duh. Anyway, back to what I was saying.

The Movie: The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2.
I watched the first one and liked it so when I knew about its 2nd movie (Thanks to Astroplus), I bought a copy. And I was right. I am enjoying the movie so far. Reminds me pretty much of Now and Then, a movie from 1990-something. It was also about a story of four friends who grew up together and blah blah blah. Blake Lively is so pretty. Her looks never changed even after she got in to Gossip Girl. But Amber Tamblyn is my favorite. Not that I can relate to her because I don't think we're the same. I just really lover her character in the movie and her beauty.

Reminds me of my lovies, Rosa-Leri-Joy!

And the photo above is an indication of how fast I got addicted to Instagram, right? Oh no.

Boys Talk

Had a great serious talk with Stephen awhile ago. Was able to tell him almost everything that's been going on my mind lately and sobrang I feel a lot better now. Thanks to him for being all ears on me. Sabagay, malaki kasi tenga, haha! Kidding aside, I am super thankful I have friends like Stephen and the rest of my Meralco barkada. Love you, TOS!

Sleep, c'mon now. Let's go.

Bull crap. Ouch.

Someone bluntly told me that my explanations were all "bull crap". Yes, that was the term used. I am not taking it against her if she doesn't want to believe me but does her words really have to be that sharp and painful? It felt as if the sadness and helplessness surfaced and came to me all at once. It was beyond melancholic in so many levels. I initially asked myself what it is that I did that made her hate me that much, you know, to use those kinds of words to pertain to what I call "my feelings". But then I realized, it's not what I did but what I did not do that made her turn her back on me. So yeah, I prolly deserve it.

If only....

Yesterday SPENT.

Spent the whole morning at the office. More computations, more fun.. Yehessss!! Miraculously, I didn't feel bored or lazy or not in the mood while dealing with paper works. I was productive, for a change. And oh I missed bonding with my officemates! I certainly hope they missed me too. Well, mukha namang oo.

******

Spent the whole afternoon at the mall with a friend. And the perfect word for the afternoon was "FINALLY". I just wish we had a longer time to kill. The "usap time" was sort of bitin but I'd rather have it that way than none at all.

******

Spent the night with Musiqality. We were supposed to get tired and sweaty altogether. But BOO ME I got injured even before I can warm up for our gymnastics training. So I just stayed on the side and enviously watched them sweat up in doing some skills. DEMMIT.

Friend [?]

WARNING: Forgive me. Don't expect anything rational from this entry.

I don't know how to begin writing about how disappointed and upset I am right now. I don't have a problem with change, really. I don't even find it that hard to adapt to change... except now. See, I KNOW this someone who "used to be" so dear to me. We "used to be" so close. We were such good pals until something happened a year ago. Since then everything changed. Everything was so sudden and I had trouble accepting the fact that everything's different already. The warmth of the friendship turned into coldness. The closeness transformed into a gap; a gap we or should I say, "I" wasn't able to bridge... alone.

I already lost you, one year ago.

I tried to save what's left with the friendship. I thought I can do it alone. I thought my efforts will be enough and so I gave it my best shot. It still didn't work out. Now, I'm finally able to admit to myself that there really was nothing to save because it cannot be saved anymore. Everything just turned too ugly. I don't even know why it took me this long to finally accept this.

This is just so tiring. If you cannot value me the way you did before, or if you can't even act as a friend, then what's the point in trying? I am so tired of reaching out to you. I am just so tired. And so, with this entry, I am saying goodbye to you, to the friendship we had, and to everything about you and me. You are now part of the past. Yes... past. And I'm never looking back.

I rest my case.
GOODNIGHT.