MONDAY.

Did you know that "Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang" was Christopher de Leon's first movie? Now, lemme ask, who can tell that I am bored? Anyone who'd say that I am bored should be crucified! Woooh!

I am sick. I spent the whole day in my room and much to my dismay, I thought I heard Matchbox 20's Unwell play in the background. I could have done a flawless, award-winning MTV for the song. or NOT! Thanks to Cinema One killing time was tad bit easier than expected. And as a matter of fact, I am currently taking time in thinking of things to do for tomorrow because it looks like I'll still be spending the day off. Darn this fever! Note that my temp since noon was consistently 38.5.

I am literally unwell. Boo me!
ineedurloving.

As random as it can get.

I am at home but my mind's elsewhere feeding me stuff to think about.

• I've procrastinated enough and losing weight has to start today. Goodbye fried chicken. Goodbye hotdogs. Goodbye candies. Goodbye chocolates. In short, goodbye good life! Boohoo!
• I am already 24 and should act and think like 24. I've lacked maturity the past months and handled things poorly. I've hurt people and have no right to complain on how they've hurt me too. It was a rude awakening but I am thankful that I have now came to these realizations. I'll be back on track in no time. I've lost and found my way.
• Nicholas Sparks once wrote: "We attempt to be accepting of others. Sometimes we aren't but at least we try."
• Chocolates are effective energy boosters. But since I am placing myself under strict diet, looking at his picture should be enough to keep me going.
• I need to start saving. I've been working for two years already but I still haven't saved enough. It's not that I don't see where all my salary has gone. In fact, I see a lot of it in my room... in my closet, specifically. I see it in every top or dress that doesn't fit me anymore. Demmit!
• Goodbye to you, self-absorbed b*tch a.k.a. ME!
• I am in love. I am in love with life. I am in love with love. I am in love with everything there is to fall in love with. Best of all, I am in love with a fickle-minded-cutesy-patootsy-purple-ogre! I am thinking positively. GV! GV! GV!
• I still can't believe that I managed to screw up the first half of this year. Oh well, what's new. It's what I do best but ain't it too early for that? I remember promising myself that this year will be MY year; that I will attract all positive vibes and will finally make things happen for me. How do I expect to keep my promises to other people when I keep breaking the promises I make to MEself. I have to grow up. I have to catch up to my age. Seriously.
• Amidst of all the chaos I am in, God was still kind He gave me someone who amazingly helped me pick up my broken self and reminded me that life is still beautiful after all. THANK YOU.
• I am no writer and I've had four long years of college life to prove that. Well, I will prolly always be this "wanna-be-this-or-that-or-this-and-that" person until I finally find the motivation I need to actually get up and do something to get what I want or to be who I really want to be. Motivation, where the fart are you?!
• It's funny how Facebook provides much too many ways on how you can expose your inner feelings in the whole wide world-world wide web (www). By just liking those funny-silly-meaningful pages that regularly appears in your message board, you've somewhat successfully expressed what you feel or want with the great possibility that it will reach the person ion your mind when you clicked "like". Guess what I just liked awhile ago: "Remember how close we used to be? Yeah I miss that :(".
• The truth shall set you free. It always have and always will. It's much too cliche-ish but the measure of truth in it is undeniable and most of the time, unbearable.
  

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Tired mind. Tired body. Tired heart. BUT...
I still feel alive.

The BEST MOM awards goes to...

... MY MOM!

Well, not because she is the only mom I have but because she really is the best mom.

I have always wanted to ask her how she does it. I mean, being a mom is the noblest-most-tiresome job ever, not to mention that they cannot take any day off, right? It's not like they can post a note on the fridge and say "I'm on leave. Do not disturb." I know she's tired but still she never lets it show. Our moms are the most selfless human beings in this world and they give the best comfort too, don't you agree? It doesn't matter where as long as I am with my mom, it ALWAYS feels like I am home.

Going back to the days when I was still pasaway, though I still am only that I toned down, I remember some times where I thought my mom would give up on me but didn't. There was a phase in my life when loving me was, I think, the hardest thing my mom ever did. She prolly even doubted herself because of me, of the way I was when I was in grade school and in highschool. Despite of everything and anything, she kept on loving me. I gave her a hard time in loving me but she was still there. She stood by me until I was matured enough to realize everything I did and that I wasn't in any way deserving of her love.

I am who I am because of my mom and the things I learned through her and from her. She is a large part of who I am. She is my best friend. She is my idol. She means the world to me. My mom is my everything! Too much for an over-used statement but if I were given a chance to choose who I want to be my mom, I will choose her EVERY TIME.

I always told myself that by 24 or 25, I will be someone's wife and by 26 I'd be a hot mommah (Hihi!). But because I am still single, I obviously have to make some adjustments. LOL! However, I also always ask myself am I mother material? It sure feels good to have my baby but am I up for the challenge? Am I or will I ever be ready to do what my mom have done for me and for our family? Then I realized, I don't have to worry at all because I LEARNED FROM THE BEST!


Facebook Status: Mothers don't just know best. They also LOVE best!

Bull crap. Ouch.

Someone bluntly told me that my explanations were all "bull crap". Yes, that was the term used. I am not taking it against her if she doesn't want to believe me but does her words really have to be that sharp and painful? It felt as if the sadness and helplessness surfaced and came to me all at once. It was beyond melancholic in so many levels. I initially asked myself what it is that I did that made her hate me that much, you know, to use those kinds of words to pertain to what I call "my feelings". But then I realized, it's not what I did but what I did not do that made her turn her back on me. So yeah, I prolly deserve it.

If only....

Mabuhay si Alessandra!

Sabi ni Alessandra de Rossi:

Umarte lang ng naaayon sa itsura. Pag hindi masyadong maganda, wag masyadong maarte.

Haha! Antaray talaga. I saw this posted at a friend's wallpost at Facebook. I just thought it would be funny to repost it. Winner talaga ang hirit ni Alessandra, natural na natural. At higit sa lahat, meron shang point. Aminin! :P

workaholic me?

I spent 13 hours at the office multi-tasking almost half the time - processing service applications while accomplishing my rebilling forms. Spell tired? I'm not even excited for tomorrow because I still have to work on Saturday. Yes, I am a self-proclaimed workaholic and I hate it.

I lost my mood. Have you seen it?

Can't get enough of G1BO.

I can't help but be amazed on how Gibo addresses the questions thrown to him. I just want to share his answer when asked by Sionil Jose of Philippine Star about his vision of the country.

I want to see a Philippines that is peaceful, has strong institutions of governance, has modern infrastructure, has food security, is technologically and educationally advanced, with a people who have the capacity to make rational decisions for themselves, true freedom of thought and of expression, a power in Southeast Asia and perhaps the Asia-Pacific, ecologically rich and diverse, in short a country where our people would want to remain.

I can almost taste hope while reading his answers. To relate, read on Sionil Jose's Interview with Gibo Teodoro. He is the perfect man for the post. I do hope he wins because it is our nation's loss if he doesn't.

G1BO is a smart choice. He is the smart's choice!

I have finally come up with a decision. I finally know who I'm voting for in this coming Presidential elections. I was initially torn between Gordon and Gibo for they were the two best candidates for the post. However, with the help of some articles, websites, fan pages, and the like, I have decided to go for Green. Yes, Gibo is my president.

It is both upsetting and frustrating how the national elections (this and the earlier ones) have become more like a popularity contest than an election where we're supposed to vote based on credentials, legislative accomplishments, and everything of the sort. Most of us think that by voting, we have already exercised our right as a citizen of this country. Yes, that's right. Even I believe that but I also believe that it doesn't just end there. To fully exercise our right to vote entails voting with the right reasons. Vote because you believe in your candidate, in his platform, plans, and capabilities. There are no wrong candidates in every election only better ones. One is always better than the rest and that's why you should root for that candidate, whoever it is. Voting will not definitely make you look apolitical but wasting your vote will make you one. Voting based on the wrong reasons is far worse than not voting at all. Isn't this the time when it is relevant to say that the future is in our hands?

I am not gonna vote for the lesser evil or for someone who has repeatedly, time and again, stressed out that he will end poverty. Instead, I will vote for someone who has aside from concrete plans on how to bring about positive change in the country's situation, also has a deeper knowledge and understanding of leadership. With this, let me quote Gibo, "I believe the country, more important than needing a strong leader, needs strong leadership. This is the difference between what I perceive to be contemporary viewpoints, the failure to distinguish between the person and the institution. Oftentimes, strong leadership is built around an individual and stays that way, while I believe in creating lasting institutions with the clear position that my participation will be temporary."

The last line of his statement was my favorite. With our economic situation, what we need is a leader like him; someone who walks the talk, works with integrity, and has a genuine want to put our country back on track. The other candidates may also have these attributes. It's just that with my president, I AM CERTAIN.

Wala si Zen... tulog... lumabas... nasa banyo!

Have been feeling sick since the other night so I've decided to take a leave from work. For the meantime, I'll just take advantage of my situation and do what I've wanted to do on times like this - BUM OUT! :D Movie Marathon. Blog. Surf the net. YouTube. Music downloads. Iso.hunt. Food trip. SLEEP.

In short, today will be "buhay baboy" day!
I'll Oink the day away!!

on smiling and cancelled plans.

I am sad but yeah,
I UNDERSTAND.

on to randomness.

Just got this from a friend's page. I'm re-postin'.. waddup!


"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

* * * * * *

I'm still not done with my soul-searching.
And I'm praying so hard for everything to go okay.
I already know what I want and I finally know what to pray for.
Been successful in clearing up my mind.
I'm getting up again and this time I am stronger.
I know better now. I am BETTER.