walang gana

so i'm writing this a couple of minutes before i leave for kamote's place. we'll be having our pseudo-christmas party there. i was initially excited because namiss ko ung mga kumag kong barkada kaya nga super effort talaga kami na i-organize yung party. badtrip lang kasi people started texting, one by one, minute after minute.. take note: just today.. na hindi raw sila pwede kesyo ganito ganyan and blah blah blah. so medyo nawawalan ako ng gana kasi ayaw magsipunta nung iba. sheesh. i've known them since highschool and i can say that i know them enough to tell na they're just trying to excuse themselves. pfft.

i actually thought that this party will be the one thing that can sweep off my problems away but now, i'm halfway to thinking that i'm wrong. ohwell, everything's still premature to be judged so let's just wait and see later. *timecheck: ooops, i should be going.

------

Cargo: i tried browsing this certain person's friendster profile and i've only one question in mind:
Bakit nasa featured friends nya si Erik??? hmmmmm..

:(

i had a really, really terrible day. it was soooo bad that i can't even begin to write about it. so i guess i'll just pass on this one. this sucks.

day out with the kamote and pards

was able to catch gene last night in ym. he told me about his breakup with mileth and he really sounded depressed and sad. he wanted to create a diversion. so what better way to do that than getting a full body massage and a body scrub? huh. how i wish that happened. we just went to the mall and watched a movie. gene had fun naman so i think jo and i succeeded in helping him nurse his broken heart.

this day was such a bore so that was practically the highlight of my today.

oh oh, here's another one. lol

What kind of sexy are you? Brought to you by www.glam.com

You’re Sexy and Slinky!
You truly love being a woman. Whether at the office or a dinner party, you play up all your best assets without apology. You’re a free spirit and independent with a will of your own. You’re entirely comfortable with yourself, and people find you completely irresistible and intoxicating.

haha!! that's a nice one. :D

nonsense that's worth my time

To get rid of boredom, i tried answering this test about what kind of a kisser i am. and guess what?! The result is... *drum rolls

You’re a romantic kisser!
Your puckering preference is the stuff of swooning, dreamy love, be it accompanied by candlelight, moonlit skies, whispered sweet nothings, or no more than a perfect tongue-tango partner.


If you want to check the site, click the image. :D

always

i'll be seeing you all the time.
i'll never be gone.
i'll always be here even if you don't think i am.
i promised you then and i'll promise you now.
i'm always with you as much as
you're always with me, in heart and memory.

edit mode.

vague as it is, the title's that way for a couple of reasons. four days na lang 2008 na and i must say that i haven't been totally happy with myself this year. i screwed up some big things in my life and i did change both in a positive and a negative way. wasn't able to sleep at all two nights ago because i was contemplating and reflecting; busy comparing the way i am before 2007 came and now that it's about to end and i wasn't really happy with some of my realizations. and so i figured out that i really need to edit some of my ways. edit talaga ung term, hehe.

speaking of edit. i missed doing a lot of things, which i know, with all modesty aside, i'm good at like graphics and visual designs - editing pictures, in particular. i know myself. i have this tendency to rot on things that i suddenly don't do as often as before anymore. and even though i already am aware of this possibility, i still let myself stop on practicing my skill. yes i was busy but every time i have a free time, i chose to do other things and sadly, those other things are really not important at all. much as i hate to admit, i think my skill on graphics and visual designs is beginning to rot. to turn the table, i'm definitely including this in my new year's resolution.

in lieu to the previous paragraph, i also plan to dance again. i'd really make time for that. gaaad, ang taba ko na and even though i'm already aware of this, i can't stop eating. with someone with a big appetite and has no means to burn fats, what do you expect? i'm getting fatter every single day. dati 100 to 105lbs lang ako pero ngayon, tumataginting na 120lbs na ang weight ko. arg! soooper hirap pa naman mag-diet dahil sooooooper sarap kumain!

since i'm already finished reflecting and have finally identified what to change with my attitude, body and etc, i guess i'm now ready to write my resolutions for 2008. i'll do that later. and i really, really promise to myself that this time, i'll strictly abide with what's in that list.

while waiting.

trip ko lang ipost ang pics ni erik sa multiply account ko. and as i was browsing each photo, i can't help but laugh over some of his pics. andame kasi niya pics na funny faces, as in really funny faces to the point na mukha na talaga siyang mongoloid. :D namimiss ko na kasi siya eh kaya ayun.. hmm.. mukhang masama akong maka-miss ng tao. i'm pretty sure he's gonna kill me (with kisses, i hope :D) pag nakita na niya yung updated album niya sa account ko. :D

love you.

5335

just got home.

alright this is really creepy. another creepy-freaky coincidence. i was in the office kanina helping mom out with some of her work then we got this phone call. the call was received by tita milan so we just continued doing what we're doing and didn't pay any attention at all. not until tita milan's tone changed and began asking the caller "san niyo nadali?" "nagulungan ba?" "saan dinala?" "nakakulong ba si _________?" and et cetera. after hearing those questions we were like "uyy sino yun? anong meron?" call ends. tita milan told us that it was one of our conductors reporting an accident. unfortunately an old lady was hit by bus 5335 and was brought to the hospital. and the driver? he's in jail.

now here's why it got creepy. few years back, one of our bus units with the same bus number also got involved in an accident resulting to the amputation of the victim's leg. DISCLAIMER: the amputation was needed because the victim was diabetic. it wasn't because super grabe yung accident.and months after that, it got involved again in another accident. point is, it was always the bus with that number, 5335. i don't know if it's just an innocent coincidence or if these accidents were trying to send us some kind of a message. there's no way of knowing, right? so we just decided right then and there to change the bus number and not use 5335 in any of our units anymore. *goosebumps

oooooooh.

countdown.

six days to go before Christmas and i'm still not done shopping. hmmmm.. not that i'm broke, though i partially am. it's just that i'm having a pretty hard time thinking of what to give to my few chosen friends. my mind's cluttered with nothing but cheezy and expensive ideas. in short, fantasy. i already have a gift for mom and dad so that's two down and lots to go.

change topic. six days na lang pasko na but i'm still not feeling it. i don't want to sound cynical or something (because i have no reason to be) but that's the truth. i still can't feel the spirit of the holidays, unlike before. maybe it's because of the weather? or maybe because i'm preoccupied lately. coz i had a very, very crazy week. ooooh spirit of the holidays, nandyan ka na ba? *korni. obviously, i'm waiting for the spirit of the holidays to come to me.. or should i look for it? i want to feel the excitement, that tingling feeling when i attend the simbang gabi or when i buy putubumbong.

spirit of christmas, where art thou?
i'm waiting. come to me.

the closet queen a.k.a. tcq

She's back, finally. No matter how oa or how weird this may sound, talagang inaabangan ko ang pagbabalik niya kasi as in I really love her items.. the quality, the style, and everything. affordable pa. Amongst all online shops in Multiply, sa kanya lang ako bumili ng more than two items. Okay din kasi siyang kausap, very professional yet very friendly. Sayang lang kasi since I am busy during daytime, tuwing gabi na lang ako nakakaonline kaya when I checked her new uploads, most of the good items were already reserved. Errrrrrr. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, i'll wait for her next batch of uploads para talagang makapili ako ng husto. haha.

Online shopping addict na ako.
Hohoho!!!

tina's bday.

20 na si tina. porn mode. haha!

too bad, people are busy.. either with exams or with work. wala tuloy gathering para kay tina. i was thinking of planning something so i texted everybody to try to convince them that tina's bday is worthy for some of their time. kaya lang, they're very busy talaga eh. even the celebrator, herself, is busy. darn it. oh well, i just wish that tina's day will rock. :D

i miss the barkada. haha.. yuck, emo.

c'mon.

you're gay. admit it. kunwari ka pa.


*ooops bato-bato sa langit ang tamaan, walang karapatang magalit. :P

- 30 -


Note: I'm sorry for being blunt, at least I didn't drop any names. I just can't help it that I'm really, really annoyed by this certain person. grrrrrrr.

your my guardian angel...

I instantly fell in love with this song... the moment I heard it, all I can say was "aaaaaawww" See? it's not even a word. The song gives me a feeling of something that I can't really describe. I can't think of any concrete term to call the emotion that this song transcends to me. lss talaga ako. I can't imagine how much love or emotion the writer of this song has... for someone to be able to create a song as realistic and lovely as this, gaaaad, I don't know what to say except that i think s/he's really in loooooooove. *blush




Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

late-night updates.

Missed writing here for the past week and right now, everything's just so crazy. Actually crazier than last week.

Anyway, I just got home from Elbi. Gaaaad. Speaking of Elbi, I miss it soooo bad.. the place, the ambiance, the people, everything! :( Top of it all, I miss Erik and the rest of the clan. All my years in college, I spent with the group. It was a drastic change for me to suddenly not be with them every single day. Same with Erik... soooobrang nakaka-experience ako ng separation anxiety. arg. We grew together at Elbi. Almost all of our special memories happened there. Elbi's our love nest. It was a witness of our four years together and even the moments before that.

Update No. 1:
Last night was a blast. We [clan] had our Preppy Christmas Party. Sooper saya. Everybody had fun, I guess. If there was an award for the Mr. and Ms. Parlor Games, I'm sure that would be given to me and Erik. We practically won all the games last night. Haha. The concept of the games were full of twists and I'd like to commend the youngest batch for that. It has been a tradition of the group na kasi that the youngest batch will be assigned to spearhead the Christmas Party. Moving on, I really had fun kahit na napaupo pa ako sa ngalan ng pagiging panalo. The part was crazy!! Even got crazier after the party proper. Some, including me, are on the pool while others are upstairs videoke-ing while drinking. As expected, there are some who drank too much and got so emo and were out of control. They made the night all the more interesting, that's all I can say. *grin. That was another sleepless night but it was worth the puyat. I feel sorry for those who slept early. They missed a lot.

Update No. 2:
Our business is what kept me busy the past week. This is the first time mom entrusted me with something soooo big, something that can make or break our life, so I'm really giving my all to it coz I don't wanna screw up. puh-lease. I'm super happy because I think I'm doing great and I'm actually enjoying it. It just made me feel so grown up already. Anyway, I was there at our stall last week except for Friday and Saturday. I went to Elbi last Saturday and went home today. About Friday? Well, it was my rest day which I wholeheartedly devoted to watching America's Next Top Model. Haha. I was pretty (and) bummed out. *lol

Update No. 3:
December 9 was utol's birthday. He's 19 already, which I found shocking coz I really lost track of his age. I stopped being concerned with his age since he was 8. Haha. Not that I don't care. I just didn't think of it as a big deal. So when he told me that he's already 19, I was like, "huwwwaaaaaaatt?!!!" Anyway, we celebrated his day at Antipolo. All the Fortaleza's were there plus some distant relatives and family friends. It was a fun day. I just have this gut feeling that he can still be happier. Kung nandun sana si gf... kaya lang, wala kasi siyang lisensya, hindi pa aprubado ni momi si gf and mukhang malabong mangyari.

Update No. 4
Erik and I celebrated our fourth anniversary at Trinoma. I initially thought that it will be just like our monthsaries kasi sa mall kami magcecelebrate. Things didn't go the way we planned it due to time and budget constraints. The original plan kasi involves our supposedly first out of town trip together, solo. So we ended up sa Trinoma. Yes we celebrated at a typical place but the day we had was beyond extraordinary. We really had fun and it was something we can really call a celebration of an anniversary. It may not be as extravagant as how we wanted it to be but that's beside the point now coz we really had a great time. Lustay pera mode kami as pambawi. A very happy anniversary indeed. :)

- 30 -

I left out so many details regarding all these activities, nalimot ko na kasi ung iba and medyo natamad na ako mag-type. i lost the momentum already eh. Sayang. goodnight.

kapalmuks.

Bad day.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit may mga taong ganun, ang kapal talaga. errrrrr. I've been trying to not let him get into my nerves pero I can't help it. Two-faced f*g.

If you'll do something for someone, even if it's out of will that you decided to do that, you should just wait for others to see and appreciate your gesture. Don't rant about it. You don't need to brag about it with the hopes of getting compliments. It just doesn't work that way. Instead na ma-appreciate, parang nakakainis. Epal.

*off topic:
Have not written here regularly for the past week/s and for a comeback post, this sucks. the topic sucks.

an encounter with an ex

Few minutes ago, an ex of mine, who also happens to be one of my kabarkadas, IM'd me in ym. He just said hi and we talked for like ten minutes and then said our goodnights-slash-goodmornings. To be honest, I was kinda shock that he IM'd me. Para kasi yung nakaka-loko, pasumpong-sumpong. Minsan bigla ang friendly and minsan naman parang umiiwas. And kanina, he was friendly. Hmmm.. Actually, I already knew that he's also online, I just didn't feel like talking to anyone kaya I ignored whoever was online on my ym list. And like I said, sala sa init-sala sa lamig kasi un kaya I really didn't take the initiative to start a conversation.

I just don't get it why he's like that. It just feels awkward coz I really feel na there really are times na iniiwasan niya ako. Haller. Ang tagal na since we broke up pero up to now may ganitong awkward moments parin lalo na pag magkasama kami sa lakad ng barkada. Nakadalawang gf na nga siya after me eh. Haller (again). He was the one who left me way, way back tapos siya pa yung parang nagiging aloof? Pambihira. It's getting kinda funny actually kasi ang weird diba? Pero I know na factor yung gf niya kasi selosa lalo na sa mga ex ni ex ko. Alam ko kasi ex's gf texted me dati and befriended me. Ex's gf was honest enough to tell me that she still feels jealous towards me. So I explained why she should not feel that way at all. At mukhang naging okay naman na after that kasi naging textmates pa kami ni ex's gf.

That's why I get weirded up by ex's actions and treatment to me. Weird for me kasi ako as in, super okay lang. No uneasiness at all when he's around kasi wala na sakin un. Not that I'm saying na may something pa rin siya kaya siya umiiwas and stuff... hindi ganun. What I'm trying to point out is ang tagal na nun kaya hindi na un issue pa dapat lalo na with our respective relationships kasi super tagal na nun, my gaaad. He's my friend and having a bitter past doesn't mean we can never go back to being really friends, at least for me.

Weird.

my infamous blog

I didn't publicize this blog account on my accounts so I'm pretty much sure that this blog site is worse than infamous. And I don't care. I didn't create this account just so I can have people look at it and see or critique what I wrote and how I wrote it. This account existed because there was a time in my life that I needed an outlet, something or somewhere where I can pour my heart out.

As a matter of fact, I'm much more comfortable in knowing that nobody (as far as I know) visits and reads my entries here. That way, I can fully exercise my right to freedom of speech. *lol

Another thing, I'm already done with college and I'm now venturing on something that's totally not related to what I took up. It's through this blog that I can be sure that my skills in writing and whatever it is that I learned in my course will be safe from rotting. Needless to say, this infamous online doodle pad is my practice space.

To end this, I don't really care if there are people who knows about this account. They just probably drop by because of my pics, hahaha! And they're pretty much welcome to have a glimpse of my sometimes-thrilling-most-of-the-time-boring-life.

I know that I am one infamous blogger of an infamous blog. And I'm proud of it.

december 4, 2007 - random babblings

I know it's already past midnight so it's not December four anymore. But since I'm still awake, my December four is still on going.

Took a day off work and relaxed a bit. Haven't done that for quite some time. My day was nothing but ordinary, boring and full of non-sense. Turned the PC on right after I woke up and ate breakfast while browsing some sites and checking my accounts. Before I knew it, I'm eating my lunch already.. take note, I'm still in front of the computer looking for some good buys on different online shops in Multiply. Technically, that was all that I did the whole day. I just vegetated in front of my computer.

Come dinner time, I just sat on the couch and opened the tv to watch teleseryes while waiting for my mom, dad and utol. As expected, they arrived just in time for pbb. They wouldn't miss a single episode of that for the world. Fanatics. Then we all ate dinner together and shared stories about how our day was, like we always do. I just listened to their stories and chewed on my food one spoonful at a time. Then I went back in front of my computer and buried myself on Multiply.

Talk about being bum. I think I had the most boring December 4 in the www.

[another operational definition: www in this entry means whole wide world and not world wide web.]
stylish eh? *wink

as promised :)

I know I promised to post here the pic of my first-ever-bought-in-Multiply dress once I receive it. Yes, I got it... i got the item, which meant that that was an authentic business transaction [in lieu to my post, Multiply Shopping]. No one's a bogus after all. :D

I got the item and I really loved it. Plus, I also bought another top from another online multiply shop. And I still have another one which was a pre-order. Oh and another one that I reserved and will pay later. Haha. Sinong naadik sa online shopping?!

So here it is, my SunCrackers dress, which I bought for only 250 bucks [including the shipment]:D

Reminiscing..

Few days ago, I had an encounter with the so-called Nostalgia. I was just thinking of how happy I am right now with Erik. See, it's December already, which means that we'll be celebrating an anniversary again - our fourth to be exact. I'm soooooo happy.

I can't help but reminisce how our love story started. We were just freshmen students when our relationship bloomed and now, I'm already done in college and it's Erik's last semester already. Four long years. And in that stretch of time, Erik has always been successful in making me feel really loved, wanted, cared for... with him I felt like I'm a gem, well-guarded, safe and sound, from anyone who would like to take me away.

Having him is more than an answered prayer. God knows how I wanted to have someone who would treat me as his treasure, someone who will make all the happy moments in my life all the more joyful, someone who'll be there through thick and thin, someone who'll embrace all my imperfections and will never take it against me. And He gave me Erik - the very someone who treated me the way I want to be treated and most of all, loved me with all of him, with all of his heart. Erik showed me love beyond compare. No man in my life has ever made me feel so loved like how Erik did.

Erik's a really, really great person. More than his good looks is his BIG heart who can show you that he really loves you - through words, and much more through actions. He is my man - my catch of a lifetime.