boring day = boring title

had a bad day today. to start with, i woke up with a fever. so nothing literally happened today coz i was practically asleep the whole time. then i was forced to attend the mass with my mom, utol and lola despite my high temperature. my mom just told me, "ibbless ka ni God, sakripisyo yan anak." i just said okay. in fairness to what she said, it was kinda right because i felt a whole lot better after the mass. may konting sinat pa ako though. and because i slept almost the whole day, i'm having a hard time sleeping right now. what's worse is that, i need to get up early for the salubong. i've this strong feeling na bangenge nanaman ako bukas. where are the sleeping pills when you need them, seriously..

survey

It's been a long while since I answered a random survey. Nakakamiss lang.

60 Things You Can't Possibly Know About Me

1. What is on your bed right now?
* pillows, my fave blanket

2. When was the last time you threw up?
* mga two weeks ago, dahil sa ubo.

3. What's your favorite word or phrase?
* "kumusta naman.." "adik"

4. Name 4 people that made you smile today.
* bebe, gene, balia, mama

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
* sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
* eating dinner

7. What is your favorite holiday?
* christmas and new year

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
* not yet.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
* hindi ko matandaan.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
* mocha fudge

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
* water

12. What are you wearing right now?
* pj's

13. What was the last thing you ate?
* porkchop and rice

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
* jacket lang

15. When was the last time you ran?
* naku.. matagal na.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
* basketball.

17. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
* kahit saan basta malayo at maganda ung place

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on friendster?
* maan celicious

19. Ever go camping?
* yep.

20. Do you have a tan?
* wala

21. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
* nope

22. What is your guilty pleasure?
* oversleeping, over eating :D

23. Do you use smilies on the computer?
* yep

25. What did your last text message say?
* happy eating.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
* yep

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
* chillax

28. Where is your mother right now?
* here with us

29. ??
* huh?

30. What color is your watch?
* silver

31. What do you think of when you think of Philippines?
* home

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
* yep

33. What is your birthstone?
* aquamarine

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
* depende

35. Do you have any friends on friendster that you actually hate?
* wala. already erased them

36. Do you have a dog?
* yep.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
* my lola

38. Have you met anyone famous?
* yes

39. Any plans today?
* attend a mass

41. Are you happy?
* yes

42. Where are you right now?
* at home

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
* a certain person's arrogance

44. Last song listened to?
* stolen

45. Last movie you saw?
* my big love

46. Are you allergic to anything?
* mint.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
* my khaki doll shoes

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
* nope

49. Are you married?
* not yet

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
* i hope so.. lols

51. What time is it?
* 8:34 pm

52. Do any of your friends have children?
* yep

53. Do you eat healthy?
* not really

54. What do you do during the day?
* depende

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
* nope

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
* di ata

57. How many kids do you want when your older? What will you name them?
* two, at most three. imma mix my name with my hubby's

59. ???
* ...

60. How did you get one of your scars?
* volleyball

a little of nothingness

..can i be more invisible?

needing my bed.

I had a looooong day. I feel so tired and exhausted. The moment we arrived here at home, I felt somewhat a great relief because finally I'd be able to seat and relax. We left the house a little past lunch time. We anticipated the traffic kaya we decided to commute na lang. Gaaad we're on our way pa lang, inabot na kami ng biglang buhos ng ulan. Buti na lang by the time we reached Divine Mercy Shrine, the rain has already stopped. We prayed and did the station of the cross. Right after that, we attended the mass. Then we joined the prusisyon. After that, we had our confession. Kapagod talaga. Imagine, mga almost 8 hours ata kami nasa church. I'm so tired. Imma sleep early. I need to regain my energy for tomorrow.

keepin' hopes up high =]

I woke up with a good mood today. Wish it will be that way till later. Though yesterday sucked big time, I guess there's nothing wrong with keeping my hopes up high, right? We'll be going out later for the station of the cross and I don't know what will happen next. I just hope we won't be attending the Seven Last Words again. Ang haba -haba nun eh. I remember last year we were inside the church almost the whole day and most part of it was spent on hearing the Seven Last Words. Nakaka-exhaust din lalo na't sobrang init and ang daming tao.

Had a dream about going to Baguio. UKay galore. Maybe that's why I had a good start for this day. Know what, maybe I really should do that. I really should go to Baguio. :) Pero after na lang ng graduation march. I heard pag graduating prone sa mga accidents eh. Better safe than sorry, I always say.

Everybody, may we all have a meaningful good friday :)

bad omen.

...I just noticed that these past few days, nothing seemed to work for me. When one part of my life becomes smooth sailing, the other parts would start messing up. It's so, soooooo frustrating. And it's weird.

my effin' birthday

Let's get this straight to the point. Fine. My birthday sucked. I didn't even feel that this was my day. It's sad to say but I honestly think I've had better ordinary days than this one. I won't pretend that I'm okay because clearly, I'm not. This day was really, really depressing.

I didn't hear anything from those who I thought won't forget my birthday. Maybe partly it's also my fault because I expected. But don't I have a right or a basis, at least.. I mean, I've been friends with those people since elementary and they've always remembered. Worse, there were some of my close friends who texted me some quotes and asked about some other things. I was hoping that they'd remember but they didn't.

My birthday sucked big time.
There was no happy birthday for me this year.

ishmaburdei

Imma party coz it's my birthday. Yeah right.. It's my first birthday na holy week. ANd because it's holy week, my celebration is not until after the lenten season. Okay na rin.

I was wide awake until 12 midnight last night para shempre salubungin ang bisperas ng 22nd year ko sa mundong ibabaw. I was just a little sad coz for the first time, my parents slept early and wasn't able to greet me at exactly 12 midnight. Si utol lang ung gising. What made the situation worse was that even Erik was sleeping already. Hehe. What a way to start my birthday. It was quite depressing but I was okay na. Sayang ang araw kung magmumukmok lang ako dahil sa mga sad things na nangyari kagabi.

It's still quite early to say kung ano kahihinatnan ng birthday ko but I really hope that this day would be very special despite the lenten season. Hindi man makagimik or makalabas to celebrate, sana maging happy pa rin. I mean, marami sana ang makaalala. Wish me luck.

Imma post an update later, that's for sure. Korny documentation lang ng day ko. Hehe.

the votes were casted.

...and i am super satisfied with the result of our dance group's election. Now, I can leave the group with a calm spirit knowing that the group will be handled by the top most deserving members. Keep the flame burning guys. I'll miss you all big time.

moments of sadness here and there

Marsobente. Less than 24 hours to go, I'll be another year older. So yesterday, took time to reflect again (for the nth time) and try to see the kind of person I have been since my last birthday. I'm not gonna share the details of this one for two simple reasons. Number one, it's too personal and number two, I'm not proud of it because to give you a clue, it's kinda disappointing. Tomorrow's my birthday and I should be excited and happy. But I'm not and I really can't write about why. Doing it would be like a social suicide. Clue is that everything's kinda messed up in my life right now. Oh well, what's new. I just wish that I'd have a nice day tomorrow. It just comes once every year after all, sana ibalato na sakin 'to. One favor please... wish me a happy birthday.

..on travelling

I've been from bulacan to laguna back and forth every now and then and sad to say, for a couple of months now, that's the farthest I was able to get from home. I miss going on a trip, yung long drive... the ones where stopovers are required. I have this feeling that I've been a downer lately. Ang boring lang ng buhay ko ngayon eh. Everyday is just like yesterday. Nakaka-relate pa rin ako kay Veronika of Veronika Decides to Die. How pathetic can I get?

Anyway, I heard dad's going to Palawan on April. I really wish he'd let me come. Goodluck naman diba? Goodluck namang isama niya ako sa business trip niya. But who knows, he might want some company this time. Most of the time, my days can't even get plainer than ever. Total bore talaga. Like now, Hell's Kitchen lang ang pinagkakaabalahan ko. It sucks, I know right. Sana a more exciting day is waiting ahead for me.

I wanna go to an unfamiliar place and actually have fun.

e.s.k.a.p.o.

Gusto ko umeskapo. Natuturete na isip ko sa dami ng mga problemang iniintindi ko. Minsan napapaisip ako, pag ba tiningnan ako ng tao, katanggap-tanggap pa kaya sa perspesyon nila kung malaman nila na bente-uno pa lang ako? O magtataka na sila at magugulat na ganun lang ang edad ko? Effective ba ang stresstabs?

Minsan ang sarap na lang mag-wala, magsisigaw, at magtapon ng gamit. Yung tipong one time big time na pagwawala, yung nakakahingal, yung nakakaiyak, yung nakakagigil, yung nakakaubos ng energy. Ang sarap siguro nun noh? Yung may sandaling panahon na wala kang lakas kaya may excuse ka na huminga ng maluwag at humiga sa kama nang walang iniisip habang yung katawan at isip mo nagiipon ng energy dahil alam mo sa sarili mo na ilang sandali lang ay magiisip ka nanaman ng solusyon sa problemang kinakaharap mo. Nakakabusog. Nakakauta. Nakakasawa.

Pwede bang umeskapo na lang? Lalayas, magpapakalayo-layo, magtatago, hindi magpaparamdam... okay ba yung ganon? Kahit isang araw lang... isang araw na wala akong iisipin, walang iintindihin... isang araw na hindi ako makakaramdam ng galit, hindi ako iiyak, hindi mangangalumbaba, hindi magkukunot ng noo... isang araw na pwede akong ngumiti, pwedeng tumawa, pwedeng humalakhak kasi ganun talaga yung nararamdamam ko. Yung tawa na walang pinagtatakpan, tawang tunay, tawang totoo. Nakakamiss lang eh.

..on pain and rage

Right now, I could only think of one way to get even with those people who continue to hurt my family. I can't help but see injustice in all that is happening right now. For all the things they've said to my mom... the harsh things she heard from them.. though I was taught by my parents to always respect a person no matter what, I still can't help but to feel hate, anger, and rage towards them.

Seeing those tears from my mom's eyes, grrrrrrrrr.... every time... every f*cking time, I wish to take revenge. But my mom would just say, "Hayaan mo sila. Wala na tayong magagawa dun."

My mom choose to keep silent. All she will do is cry and then that's it. I don't know how she manages to ignore all these and how she can just let things go and not fight for her self. How I wish I can be like her. I wish I can be as peaceful as her.

Okay na lang. Maniwala na lang tayo sa karma. Si God na ang bahala.

...on cars and challenges

I'm doing a project about cars right now. And I feel totally challenged because my knowledge on cars can just go as far as "Ooooh, I love the green-ess of the car." "It's Mazda 3, siet." Sa ngalan nga naman ng pera. I may not know a lot about the subject but I think I can still nail this article... I hope. Wish me luck for my 5-page article due at 2am, March 7.

broke in the wrong time.

The first one was tolerable. Though I want to watch, I let Ne-Yo's concert pass since I'm not a big fan of him naman. I like his songs though and I've lots of friends who went there to watch. Even my cousins watched the concert. Wrong timing kasi eh. I have the money but I don't have the luxury of time to go to Manila and watch. So okay lang, it was not that big a deal for me coz I'm no Ne-yo fanatic at all. But when I heard that Maroon 5 and Incubus will be having their concert, super na-sad na lang ako. As expected, the tickets were already sold out. Late ko na kasi nalaman. Actually, my friend's selling his tickets for the Incubus concert kaya lang kumusta naman, 3k+ ang worth eh. Hay. Eh I'm planning to buy two tickets, one for me and one for Erik coz we'll be celebrating our 51st Monthsary. So that would cost me six thousand bucks. Eh jusko saang lupalop naman ng wallet ko kukunin ung 6k, diba? Hay. Now, I have the time and the heart for the performers but I don't have the money anymore. Life can really be bitchy sometimes.

omg. i love this song.

I've created a playlist in my player where I compiled all my favorite songs and I lamely labeled it as "faves". It contains more or less 70 songs. But for some unknown reason, I chose to listen to Chris Brown's With You last night. As in out of the estimated 70 songs in my player, I played Chris Brown's With You over and over again. I'm actually listening to it right now. I feel this song.



With You - Chris Brown


Chris Brown - With You lyrics

thoughts here and there: on Truth, Justice, and Politics

Back to work.

I'm doing this article about the difference of Just and Unjust Law, based on the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. The article was about Racism, how the Negroes and the Whites were segregated in Birmingham. In the article, Martin Luther King explained why they engaged in direct action rather than in negotiation. He also stressed in the article, Letter from Birmingham Jail, the feeling of hopelessness that provoked them to take direct actions.

Honestly, I found it quite dismaying to actually read about oppression and direct action again coz I'm pretty much saturated already with what's happening right now in the country. I see it on TV and read it on papers time and again. Darn it. What are the odds of me having a project that will require me to read and write about an issue that I no longer enjoy learning about?

So why am I blogging about this? I just can't help but to share that while reading the words of a noble man, I was unintentionally reminded of our very own Jun Lozada. Much like Martin Luther King, Jun Lozada was also being scrutinized right now for fighting against the powerful people in the country. Funny as it seems that the one who's telling the truth and devoting his life for changes sake is the one being scrutinized while the people who we should be considered as the culprits are busy on demanding for evidences (which the other party lacks) so as to protect each other or themselves, for this matter. Shempre, pag nga naman mabuko ang isa, buko na silang lahat, right.

I remembered what Jun Lozada said in one of his interviews. He said that the concept of justice here in the Philippines is very disappointing. Sad enough but I think I'd have to agree with him. Here in the Philippines, justice requires evidences such as documents to be able to go through the legal process, which I think is fair enough. However, the drawbacks of this is that what if a person is telling the truth but doesn't have enough concrete evidence, just his memory and the promise that he's telling the truth, which is not honored by the law unless backed up with tangible evidences. What if this happens? The sad fact is that the concept and even the system of justice here in our country is very limiting. It can suspend the truth. It can keep corruption freely running in the country and twist the truth and make whoever holds it suffer. Sad but true. No wonder why lots of vigilant organizations engages in direct action via demonstrations, rallies, and mobilizations.

Justice too long delayed is justice denied. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

my asap '08 experience =]

Generally, I wasn't satisfied with the show. I mean, the show was great, the perormances were very good... I was just kind of feeling upset kasi I've always wanted to see ASAP live to be able to watch "The Champions." Ayun eh... muntik ko na silang hindi makita, they were on tour pala. Sadness.

We were one of the VIP's so kahit medyo mahaba na ung line when we got there, sa unahan pa rin ng pila ang bagsak namin. :D the marshals explained it to the people who reacted. I heard the marshals say, "VIP ho kasi sila". Ang sarap lang eh. Haha. Since we had the opportunity to pick the seats first, I decided to sit sa tabi ng runway. At first, I was torned between the seats sa tabi ng runway and sa seats in front of the circular mini-stage at the end of the runway. Obviously, I picked the ones in the side kasi I remembered na hindi naman nagtatagal yung mga artista sa circular thing-y na yun eh. So if I sat there, in general, malayo ang view namin. Haha, may ganun talagang analysis. :D When we got in the studio, I was stunned to see how small it is. I thought super laki ng place kasi that's how it looks on TV eh. Pero hindi, as in parang half or a little over half lang siya ng basketball court. :D

The floor director briefed us about what to do and what not to do during on air. One of the things that I can recall about sa mga bawal ay yung pag-take ng pictures while the show is on air pero shempre, when the show started, puro digicams and handycams ang nakita ko sa audience so I decided to take some pics also. Hehe. Mga pinoy talaga pasaway. Then during breaaks, umiingay sa studio kasi people were shouting the names of the artistas for some pictures and again, nakigaya naman daw ako. Haha.


During breaks, we can see the artistas doing their thing - practicing their spiels, kulitan with each other, how they were guarded by the marshals and how their PA's follow them around while carrying some of their stuff. Yung iba nakakatuwa while yung iba, nakakadismaya. Here's my observations:

Anne Curtis - super ganda niya pala talaga in person, as in! And ang kulit kulit niya on set. She kept singing for the audience para lang walang dead air then makikipag-usap siya and nagpapa-take ng pics. She's one of the artistas that I liked the most that day kasi super approachable and maloko.

Bea Alonzo - she's not chubby AT ALL. She looks the same both in TV and in person. I mean, readily recognizable yung mukha niya unlike Vina Morales.

Vina Morales - At first, I didn't like her kasi she wasn't that appealing anymore. Ohwell, maybe factor din yung ang tagal ko na siyang nakikita sa TV but noooooo. When I saw her on set, I was starstrucked. She's sooooo gorgeous pala. Ang liit lang ng face and super mukhang sophisticated. She's also friendly but Anne's still the friendliest among the girls.

Vhong Navarro - He was the friendliest performer. Para siyang standup comedian. Haha. I remembered he asked, "Neg-eenjoy ba kayo?" then shempre we shouted Yes. Then he asked "Sino dito ang laging nanonood ng SOP?" Then some raised their hands kasi they thought Vhong said ASAP. Then we all laughed. He was so funny.

Toni Gonzaga - She's not that pretty compared to the others pero I don't know.. There's something with her aura that doesn't make her look unpretty kahit itabi mo sa magaganda. She's really smart-looking. She moves elegantly, parang beauty queen. Seryoso. She wasn't as friendly as Anne but when she hears her name, nagssmile naman siya and nagpapapicture. Hindi siya makulit.

Piolo Pascual - Isa lang ang nasabi ko, "Sayang kasi he's a bisexual" Ang gwapo kaya niya, as in. Kagigil lang eh.

Sam Milby - Shytype. He wasn't as starstruck-ing as before. Always busy reading and practicing his spiels.

Luis Manzano - Nakakairita. Magaling siya magbingi-bingihan. That's all.

Maja Salvador - I'm beginning to think that she really has an attitude problem. Totoo ata yung chismis, after all.

Gary Valenciano - During breaks, I saw in him the effort to entertain the audience especially the older ones like my lola, for example. Makikipagusap siya and magtatanong if everybody's enjoying... tamang friendly lang.

Kim Chu - She's very charming. Baby-faced-dimpled-chic na parang doll. Parang siya yung baby sa set that day kasi everytime she comes sa studio, the artistas will always say, "aaaaawww.. you're sooo cute Kim." or "Loook at Kim, she's soooo cute" Their tone's pretty much like how one would talk upon seeing a cute baby.

Shaina, Iya and Nikki Gil - They're all prettier in person. At kumusta naman ang legs ni Shaina, parang walang tuhod, pantay ang kulay. Hehe. Anyway, as I was saying, they're all prettier in person plus they're also super kulit. Yun nga lang, sila-sila lang ang nagkukulitan. Unlike Anne na nakikipagkulitan sa audience. But that's okay.

Haaaaay... sayang talaga, the champions weren't there. Wrong timing yung punta ko. And oh by the way, the Coverboys were soooooooo steaming hot. :D

til next leap year...

Was looking forward to February 29 kasi shempre, it only comes once every four years. I told myself that I'd write an entry for that day, tipong kahit ano lang basta lang may blog ako na dated February 29. But as you can see, I've no entry for that date. Sad. Super busy kasi that day. So I'd have to wait for another four years just to have an entry dated February 29. Ang babaw lang, I know.. right.

my love element is...

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash. Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

Special mention: Mareng Andeng, I know you would try this so here's the link: http://www.blogthings.com/whatelementisyourlovequiz/

My Reaction:
It surprisingly fits me. I mean, I agree that Metal is my love element. Hoho.

..on frenchkissing and kids

Had a looooong day. Woke up around 8am to get ready coz we're going to watch ASAP '08 live on abscbn. *i'll share about the details on a separate entry. After the show, we ate our lunch-slash-merienda coz it was already 4pm na ata.Then we went straight to church to attend the Sunday mass.

No offense meant but I wasn't really happy when I saw that the priest that will be holding the mass is the priest who's known to talk a lot on his homily, sharing five different long stories that aims to stress only one point. So when he was on his third story already, I was feeling kinda boring and a bit sleepy na. I was really on the verge of surrendering myself to the call of sleep when I saw something that shooed my sleepiness away. There were three kids sitting in front of us, two boys and one girl. I think mga four to five years old lang yung isang boy then the other one is around 6. Tapos yung girl naman is around five siguro.

Typical kids... makulit sa mass and not listening. They were teasing each other. The younger boy and the girl versus the older boy... So okay lang naman. But I was shocked sa mga sumunod kong nakita. The younger guy and the girl kissed in the lips, which is fine. Okay lang yun... they are kids, what do they know about such things, right? They kissed for siguro mga three times. Then after that, nilabas ni younger boy yung tongue niya while naka-nguso then ito namang si young girl did the same thing then they kissed. AS in!!! Kumusta naman yun diba? Ang sakit sa bangs, hay! I was totally distracted with what I saw. Yung parents/guardian nung kids, walang kaalam-alams a ginagawa nung mga bata coz we were praying, nakaluhod ang mga tao nun. The kids kept doing that for several times. As in yung buong row namin, na-distract and sa kanila nakatingin. Susmariosep.

Kung anuano siguro nakikita or napapanood ng mga batang yun. Sabi nga, ang ginagawa ng matanda, nagiging tama sa mata ng bata. Haggard.