Laugh Trip: STOP ME MOMENTS

Boyfriend to Girlfriend:
"What do you take me for? Granted?!"

Guard answering the telephone:
"Ah yes, for awhile...Please hang yourself."

Starlet in an interview:
"If the odds are against me, then I will against them."

Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta naman ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.

Army officer to cadet:
Officer: Do you know why I ask you to stand?
Cadet: No sir.
Officer: Okay, why?

Teacher to students:
"Baka gusto niyong ibilad ko kayo dun sa covered court?!"

Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang yellow paper lang eh!

Teacher after the examination:
"Okay. Time is up! One, two, three... come your papers to me!"

A reporter interviews a politician about our economy, politician says:
"Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon pero slow by slow, we will success."

Teacher to students:
"Sorry class I am late. My mother died three years ago. And now, she's dead."

Heard in a fast food chain:
"Mam, baka po gusto niyo mag-avail ng KIDNEY meal?"

Teacher to student:
Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Mark po.
Teacher: What is your old?

In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, how do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.

Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po. (Geology)
Mom: Aahhh.. Geo-rnalism? Okay nga yan.

Suitor to girl:
"I love you. This is not a ball."

Teacher to students:
"Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!"

Teacher to students:
"Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly."

Angry teacher to student:
"I want you to bring your mother and father, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!"

Emcee in a party:
"The next song is the favorite song of my best friend. And neither do I."

Posted in an establishment:
"None ID, Nothing Entry."

Two lousy-in-English friends talking:
F1: Am I raining outside?
F2: Not yet... Sprinkle only.

Alma Moreno in her show, introduces Nora Aunor who came in late:
"Finally! Please welcome, the late Nora Aunor!"