pardon me.

I know I said that I already said goodbye to depression. But here I go again... depressed but for an entirely different reason.

I just don't know how to deal with this one. I am not fond of dealing with situations about past happenings coming back especially when I was already able to let the situation go. But now, it did. It happened over a year ago and it was really, really painful. It took me months to recover from that. Suddenly, last night it all came coming back to me... the pain, the happiness, the excitement, the fear, everything.

All I know is that I want to get it back. I want to get what's really mine. I'd do anything to get it back. I have all the right to, after all that I've gone through. God made this happen for a reason and maybe, He wants me to get it back. Maybe it's meant to come back to me. Oh God please.

I want to take this one step at a time. I want this to be well-thought. I don't want to give in to my impulses. I cannot afford to lose this chance of getting it back. This might be my last chance.

God help me. PLEASE.